Wednesday, December 25, 2024 Quote of the week

“Life is not just the passing of time. Life is the collection of experiences and their intensity.”

Jim Rohn

My grandma Hammack baked batches of her corn and oyster casserole for Christmas every year. She kept her long strawberry-blonde hair in intertwining braids that rested at the base of her neck. Always wearing a smile on her face and an apron around her waist, she’d spin effortlessly around the kitchen. Her culinary skills humbled the most profound master chef.

Her casserole carried on even after she passed. Whether it was my mom, my sister-in-law, my brother, or myself, it made its honorary appearance year after year. However, time marched forward, and the casserole has shrunk in size because the younger generations frown upon the familial golden triumph. More than likely, there will come a time that it may not grace our table at all, but the memory of Grandma Myrtle will never fade. The recipe, written in Grandma’s hand, is a magnificent treasure.

The memories of those cherished holidays are thick with nostalgia. Glimpses into our past retell the adored stories of what has been. Remembering my holidays spent as a child seem only moments ago, yet I suddenly am wondering how I got to the teatime of my life. Thankfully, the memories live on despite those we are missing. Our loved ones have actually carved a pathway of where we are going and who we are becoming. We've grown into who we are because of their influential love.

When we live our life in appreciation of our heritage, that will be the gift we bestow to our future generations. The narratives we share become our legacy. Life is so fragile, yet it is easy to lean into the falsehood of forever and timeless. Our lives, just like our departed loved ones, are momentary. “When you see how fragile and delicate life can be,” states Jenna Morasca, “all else fades into the background.” Nothing else matters.

During this Christmas season, it makes me think about the fragility of life, particularly the fragile baby Jesus. British writer Victoria Finlay writes that, “Human life is fragile: we live in the space between one breath and the next. We often try to maintain an illusion of permanence, through what we do, say... how we enjoy ourselves... Yet it is an illusion that is constantly being undermined by change and death.” Although rather complex, this reflection does not have to feel daunting. Instead, it is a resounding trumpet encouraging us to keep experiencing life and telling our stories.

Your loved ones left you a legacy. What will your legacy be?

Wednesday, December 18, 2024 Quote of the week

“A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance…”

Ecclesiastes 3: 4

Although I have my moments from time-to-time, I presently feel more joy than grief. This is my eighth Christmas without my husband, but I refuse to let death win because love always will. “For where there is love,” Mahatma Gandhi said, “there is life.” Losing our loved ones is tragic, but never loving and never being loved is even more so.

Oftentimes I write of how painful life can be on the living side of death, however, it’s not a place to remain. I’m taking the leap, and invite all of you who mourn, to take my hand and jump. Jump into the life that your loved ones have helped you to enrich, for you are better humans because of them. Honor them by living forward and loving completely.

God created us in his own image, which is one of love. Yes, we will hurt if we choose to love again, but in the wise words of Rumi, “To love is human. To feel pain is human. Yet to still love despite the pain is pure angel.”

This holiday season may be the first that you are missing those who’ve moved beyond, or perhaps it’s been decades. Wherever you find yourself at this moment, whether it be immersed in the brittle pain or in the joyous appreciation for your shared time, step forward. Open the door to your heart, and invite love in as you gently escort grief through. Allow love to win.

Author Jandy Nelson wrote that, “Grief and love are conjoined, you don’t get one without the other.” Sure there will be moments of tears and mourning, but as Ecclesiastes teaches, we ought not to allow grief to reside permanently. There is more singing and dancing that awaits us. Jim, my parents, and my brother…I will forever miss them, but their love I carry with me. Death cannot destroy that precious gift.

”And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

Wednesday, December 11, 2024 Quote of the week

“You never know how close you are to turning the corner until you turn the corner. Keep moving forward, one step at a time. You will get there.”

Fawn Germer

There was a time during my early grieving when it was painful to visit my mom; she was in her 90s, and she reminded me that Jim never would be. There was a time when I could not attend church services because I saw aging couples holding hands, but we would not grow old together. There was a time when I slept only a couple of hours a night because my husband’s side was so vastly vacant. There was a time when I’d smile but then be riddled with guilt; how callous of me to be happy. There was a time of bitterness. There WAS a time.

There are no quick remedies that will relieve grief; how I had wished for that magical elixir. Relief comes through the passing of time, which is the true healer. Author Fawn Germer added that, “Shortcuts often lead to dead ends where you have to backtrack and do what you were avoiding in the first place”, and who on earth would want to keep backtracking through pain? She is absolutely right! Grief needs befriending and to be escorted through the passage of time in order to release its hold.

When reconstructing life after loss, it is similar to building a home. Determine what foundation is best, and then clear away the debris that no longer serves. Choose quality materials, but instead of lumber and stone, choose positivity and growth. Books, friends, scripture, and experiences to name a few.

Buddha said, “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” You are blessed to live and to love, so nurture your body and soul; your body is the temple, which carries you for the rest of your life. And you have much more left to embrace! Find the beauty in your new and artistic creation. Become your truth.

This is your own personal creative moment! Famous artist and painter, Milton Avery said, “Art is like turning corners, one never knows what is around the corner until one has made the turn.”

Sunday, December 1, 2024 Quote of the week

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.”

George Sand

Wanting to travel before snow blanketed the Northeast, I visited my in-laws the week before Thanksgiving; however, winter found its way onto the highway 70 corridor. Driving in sleet and then snow, I traversed my way to a fun and pre-holiday visit with family. Even with careful and deliberate planning, even if I thought I had everything figured out, always expect the unexpected.

My father-in-law lives in a vibrant retirement community, and I was fortunate enough to share dinner with him and his friends one evening. The gentlemen shared stories of their past with twinkles in their eyes. I was rapt in the whimsical conversations! They were looking forward to another holiday season celebrating with the new family they had created with each other.

One gentleman in particular spoke of his late wife and how much he had loved her. However, even at 100 years old, he was still searching and finding love; love in his community, love among his friends, and love for his future…whatever that may hold for him. This centenarian was content, happy, joyous. His unconditional love for life spilled out from him. His warmth and authenticity suggested to me that I too could continue to love and experience the life that I have yet to live.

Stephen Kendrick, an American film producer and author said that, “The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.” Because we choose to love again does not negate the love you had with those we’ve lost. In fact, love resonates even more deeply because we now realize that nothing in this world lasts forever. Life has taught us that love should not be taken for granted. Life is fleeting, so love completely!

A few weeks ago, my church celebrated the theme that life is like a house party! The priest invited us to recollect the memories of partying before the parents got home and how we lived in the moment because we knew they’d be home soon! He said that we are here in this world to experience joy and what better way to do that than is to love unconditionally.

In John 3:16, it says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son…” God never meant that He was going to send his son on the condition we all behave; we aren’t capable of behaving. God is unconditional love, and He loves us no matter how many times we miss the mark. The capacity to love is infinite; the more love we give away, the more love that is returned.

Although we do not know what lies on the road of life after loss, love and expect the unexpected.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE

Wednesday, December 25, 2024 Quote of the week

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