wednesday, August 28, 2024 Quote of the week

“We have two lives... the life we learn with and the life we live after that. Suffering is what brings us towards happiness.”

Bernard Malamud

Several years ago, I attended the funeral mass for my second cousin who tragically lost his life in a car accident. He was only twenty. The organist began playing the opening hymn as the cantor began singing. Solemnly, the congregation rose, turning towards the back of the church where his parents and siblings were entering. His mother, my cousin Michelle, was surrounded by her family, two of which were holding her up and helping her down the aisle. And to my disbelief, she was singing the hymn.

How… how in the world can she muster the voice, the energy to be singing? She had no strength to walk, yet she had the spiritual strength to sing. Paul reminds us in chapter 12 in the second book of Corinthians that, “Jesus’s grace is sufficient for you, for your power is made perfect in weakness.” In Michelle’s weakest moment, her strength and her faith shined.

Her testimony proved to me that strength is more than muscle. Strength is the ability to endure the most devastating experience, yet still rise up in faith. Author Julie Rayburn writes that we need to “focus on the light of the world instead of the darkness of our circumstances” even when facing the worst and most dreadful shock of grieving. Our faith won’t lessen the pain of loss, but it will give our losing purpose.

William Barclay writes that, “endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” The glory for me is to honor those I’ve lost by living the life I have left. If we are still pulled out of bed every morning, we still have a reason. ”...the life we live after…”.

Where do you get your strength?

wednesday, August 21, 2024 Quote of the week

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road… Unless you fail to make the turn.”

Hellen Keller

Road Trip! At the mere mention of a road trip, some may smack their palm into their forehead and sigh exhaustedly. Others may pump their arms in the air and squeal in ecstatic delight! Whether finishing a summer road trip or planning a future one, there is a little oasis in Missouri and Illinois that supplies travelers with anything they may need or forgot: Wally’s… Home of the Great American Road Trip!

Over seventy fueling stations are available, so drivers can be on the road again in minutes. When traveling with children, parents certainly pack patience, but Wally’s beef jerky bar and popcorn station stretch across the store as well as cold drinks and games to keep kids fed and busy! Traveling solo has challenges, so the gourmet coffee bar sounds like the perfect means in which to caffeinate. All the needs of the weary traveler are under one roof. God forgive me for seeing similarities between you and a convenience store, but I see a parallel here; what do Wally’s and God have in common?

Before a trip, I fill my tank. Each morning, I fuel up with His word that strengthens and prepares me for my day. Throughout the day, I check my spiritual gauges to make sure I am running efficiently. Wally’s provides an abundance of food and drink. God has blessed me with an income that helps to fill my fridge. Wally’s offers rest from the road. Likewise, Psalm 62:1 reminds me that “my soul finds rest in God alone…” The teachings of Jesus remind me not to be fearful and to trust the journey.

Life is a road trip. Sometimes we can see clearly for miles in front of us. As we continue, there are unexpected turns and detours we never anticipated. Sunny weather can suddenly change, and we are battling hard rain and hail. We may have to pause our trip, pulling over until it passes. We never know what is around the corner, so we slow down, and resume our speed once we have a clearer view allowing God’s spiritual GPS navigation to lead the way.

The Apostle Paul writes in Colossians 1:11 that “...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…”. During my grieving, God fastidiously provided me with endurance to travel forward. Be it friends, family, or my faith, he provided and continues to care lovingly for me.

Jesus understands; he suffered grief and loss, so He gets us. We simply need to reach out and ask for help. We cannot reach our new destination in one giant leap; it is to be experienced one mile, one moment, at a time.

We will arrive in God’s perfect timing.

wednesday, August 7, 2024 Quote of the week

“You could fall and rebuild yourself an infinite amount of times, and each new you would be stronger than the last.”

Lana Grayson

During lockdown, DIY projects flooded society and changed the culture overnight. The stuck-at-homers blazed new trails of craftiness as they knocked out walls, dug backyard koi ponds, and revamped old furniture. While I had been baking bread and toasting homemade granola, the ingenuity donning social media inspired me. I considered repurposing an old table, so I researched online how to begin.

Without having the experience of this “maybe” project, I had to learn the processes. Little did I realize that refinish, restore, and refurbish are not synonymous terms. I was interchanging them, but they all mean something different.

If I were to refinish my table, I’d need to remove the existing finish and simply apply a new one, whereas restoring brings the piece back to its original state. Refurbishing means that there is structural damage and would need a complete overhaul. Now understanding the three terms, I thought, wow, these terms are similar to the healing processes of grieving.

Refinishing ourselves after loss prevents the grief from materializing; it just covers up the messiness of loss residing just underneath the surface. Restoring is preposterous; there is no going back to what was, who we were before. Refurbishing, however, is the discovery of finding the hidden beauty still buried underneath the damage.

In the aftermath of a great loss, we are damaged. It rumbles through us like an earthquake leaving devastating destruction behind. Therefore, refurbishing is a complete overhaul to our existence, our thinking, our placement in the world in which we’ve found ourselves living. To find my footing from the jolt, my refurbishing methods were a combination of stillness, prayer, friends, family, walks, reading, and journaling. Most importantly, I just need time.

We can find our way again, but we won’t be who we were. My love for Jim changed me, so it is sensical that the absence of him would as well. Reflecting on her successful career, Martha Stewart said that “rebuilding is a lot harder than building…” and I feel her advice echoes that of grieving as well.

Roll up your sleeves…this might take some time.