wednesday, March 29, 2023 Quote of the week

“You either evolve, or dissolve.”

Usher

My sister-in-law told me I was a product of evolution because only two of my four anticipated wisdom teeth appeared in my dental x-ray. Being a brilliant high school science teacher and insatiable learner, I believed her, but I had to do a bit of research on my own.

According to an article written by Valencia Higuera in January of 2020 on Healthline.com, nearly 40% of people today are missing one or more of their wisdom teeth. However, our distant ancestors possibly needed four extra teeth because of their environment. Dr. Jennifer Archibald reported that although there is no clear answer, they might have “dealt with gum and teeth problems like tooth decay or tooth loss. If so, wisdom teeth possibly provided extra teeth for chewing.” Archibald continued in saying, “today, wisdom teeth serve little purpose, and often cause more harm than good.” Perhaps the evolution of not just our dental health, but also our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health need an evolutionary prod as well.

Comedian and actor, Aries Spears said, “to sustain longevity, you have to evolve” and loss of a loved one is certainly a time to consider how we will evolve. As the ones still remaining, we have the capacity to change and to evolve into something wondrous. We are like a mosaic, for when it is observed up close, the ridges and the imperfections in the glass are obvious. But as we stand back, we drink in the beauty that is remarkably breathtaking.

Be ready to evolve. What works for us at one point, will not work out forever. I tried for too long to mimic the life Jim and I shared, but I eventually understood I had to evolve into a new me. However, it was a me I could not have become with the us. Sonali Bendre said that “the point of human evolution is adapting to circumstances. Not letting go of the old, but adapting to it is necessary.” Just because we move forward, doesn’t mean we leave them behind.

I am fine with two of my wisdom teeth dissolving into an evolutionary abyss but not with the rest of the time I have left. Our careers will end, we will choose other paths, some trodden down and worn, and others fresh and springy, but whatever we choose, belongs to us. We are evolving everyday even though we don’t see the changes. We are like rivers; they look the same day after day, but suddenly we notice it is a bit more narrow, or there is a new swerve in the bend that hadn't been there before, and we’ll think, ”Huh, I wonder when that all happened?”

Look in the mirror, and at some point, you’ll say the same about you!

wednesday, March 22, 2023 Quote of the week

“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.”

Caroline Myss

Our gym offered a yoga class on Monday nights. It has never been a challenge for me to run or kickbox because I like high-intensity workouts, so I have never needed the motivation of a cardio class. However, realizing the benefits of yoga, Jim and I both wanted to try it. The class helped us both to stay accountable to this practice. Overtime, yoga became an essential part of our workout routines.

The classes always began with a seated meditation of stillness. Awareness of the breath slowly inhaling in and slowly exhaling out each with a count of three. (I bet you just tried it!) Our instructor guided us through this practice teaching us to quiet the monkey mind. How true! It is difficult to turn off the chatter of planning and the mountains of items on the lists of to-dos. Although it is a cute image of how our thoughts leap from topic to topic, monkey mind is actually referenced in sacred texts.

Psychology Today featured an article written by Dr. Diana Raab. She stated that, According to Buddhist principles, the “monkey mind” is a term that refers to being unsettled, restless, or confused. She further explained that the monkey mind likes to be in control and causes anxiety. “It’s the part of your brain most connected to the ego, which contends that you can’t do anything right. It’s also the part of you that stifles creativity and prevents you from moving forward.” In Philippians, Jesus will guard us, so we should “not be anxious about anything.” Breathe and simply let go.

Why do we listen to chatter inside our heads telling us we are not enough? It talks us out of our dreams we wish to pursue or the adventures we long to take. Respected author, Ray Bradbury quotes that in order to discover our own magic, we need to just, “jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings.” Ignore the monkey and listen to the stillness of your soul.

The voice in our heart is the connection we have with Source. It is a feeling, a conviction, a guide leading us in the way we need to proceed. When we are healing from a loss, it is essential to set aside the distractions that get us tangled in the thorns, so we can see the blooming growth instead. Carolyn Myss reminds us that through stillness, we “place ourselves into the space of receptivity.” I love this…simply receive without the hindrance of our own monkey business!

I could spend an hour of my life pursuing something that I want, or I could spend a lifetime wishing I had. Inhale...exhale and jump!

wednesday, March 15, 2023 Quote of the week

“When you practice contentment, you can say to yourself, ‘oh yes, I already have everything that I really need.’”

Dalai Lama

Having everything we really need…what does that mean? When we are feeling the heaviness from our empty hearts, it feels like we are depleted in nearly everything. However, finding what we need to heal is different for every person, but the root of the origin is the same: to acknowledge our own authenticity, to follow our specifically designed path, to stay in the present moment, and to allow healing to flow into our lives.

I was recently in Los Angeles and revisited Venice Beach. I brought a small container of Jim’s ashes with me because this is where I had the most vivid dream of my life. Soon after Jim was diagnosed, I had a dream that he and I were standing on Venice Beach, and a golden ball of energy was pulsating vibrantly between us. Although it had no eyes or mouth, its gaze was upon Jim as it said, “I have given you all you need to heal.” I looked towards Jim and found him to be holding stacks of spiritual books. The Bhagavad Gita, the Quran, and the Bible, and others by authors Wayne, Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, and the Dalai Lama were among the many volumes.

He was broken after learning of his disease, but soon Jim began working relentlessly on his healing. For the next several years, he built back up his faith through studying mountains of books about God and getting involved in our church. Sedimentary nights at home became evenings at the recreational center practicing yoga and Tai Chi. Hiking, bike riding, and long walks on the weekends became routine. One of his favorite songwriters, Tori Amos once wrote that, “healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it” and so he dug. Despite his circumstances,

he stayed true to his authenticity as to how he needed to heal. Through this, he found contentment and made peace with where he was.

Although his body gave way to the exhaustion of his disease, God gave my husband all he needed to heal his soul, promising him the infinite and everlasting. Jim won the final lesson, which was the restoration of his faith.

If we choose to look around and upwards, I am certain that we too will find all we need to heal. During my prayers and meditation, I am in awe at those blessed people God has planted in my life. He gave me faith, for without it, I'd be nothing. I am content knowing I experienced the most magnificent love!! I am content knowing I am not in control. And even though I don’t have him still with me, I am content knowing I once did. I am content having all I need to heal.

It is not betrayal but honor, to continue, to be fully aware in the present moment and to allow healing.

wednesday, March 8, 2023 Quote of the week

"I know for sure that appreciating whatever shows up for you in life changes your personal vibration. You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you're aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots."

Oprah Winfrey

Grief, for a time, takes the wonder out of life. It can rob us of our inherent nature to be awestruck from the fascination of even the smallest of miracles. A lady bug balancing effortlessly on a blade of grace, genuine smiles shared between two passing strangers, or the icy mist encircling a full moon. Things once noticed and cherished fail to give happiness…but only for a time.

Eyes see what is before us, but the soul through hope, strength, and gratitude, finds joy. Adventurist Edmund Hillary believed that “it is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves” so we need to confront it. Collectively, I am certain we can all concede that the steep mountain climb of grieving is the most arduous, but we can overcome it.

When our loved ones lived alongside us in this world, we experienced relationships on a physical level. Since their transcendence, they now live within us…in the traditions, our memories, and deep in our hearts. Their absence certainly doesn’t satisfy us, but that is why we have hope in the unseen. In the eighth chapter of the book of Romans, it is written that we ought to “hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.” So we must summon the perseverance to at least set one foot on the ascent upward as we wait in hope of seeing them again.

Physical movement generates the life source still residing within us. As we move, we feel the pulsation of our intention and our purpose. It clears our heads and connects us back to our Source, which is comforting because that is where our loved ones are as well. Acceptance, gratitude, and joy abound!

Sure, it is easy to wallow in our pity pool, but it is no place to stay. If so, we prune and become soggy. As Oprah reminds us in her quote today, we generate hope for the goodness of things yet to come. We radiate the vibration of joy. Welcome to the newness that your future holds.

What are you waiting for? You don’t need permission. Just start climbing.

(Picture is of Moro Rock in California...the climb Jim took soon after he knew he was sick.)

wednesday, March 1, 2023 Quote of the week

“It is time for her to quit marking time and start doing something with it.”

Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah

A glass of wine and a good book are just one of the many examples of a wonderful evening. Letting go of what was only to step into the imagination and wonders of an author’s story is pure joy! I live vicariously through the lives of the characters, while I am transformed into their world. Nothing to think about, nothing to worry about. My cares are whisked away. Then, suddenly, BAM. I learn something!

I was blindsided; words leap from the pages and hit me square between my eyes. All I intended to do was to simply read, but all at once, I am journaling my reflections and connections to the most profound messages. If I wasn’t paying attention, however, I would have missed the hidden nuances writers so eloquently weave into their stories.

Kristin Hannah is an author I admire, so I scooped up her novel, Winter Garden. Unbeknownst to me, it is about a widow and her two daughters as they struggle to make sense of the world after the loss of the man they loved. His widow is stuck; she witnesses the rising of the sun each morning and waits for it to set every night. She is just marking time. Her daughters see her decaying before their eyes. After lots of trials and tribulations, the girls manage to help their mom to finally see the space between.

I relate to the widow in the book as I am sure most of us do when we suffer a loss. After losing my husband, the days raced by at a snail’s pace. The time was excruciating until I started paying attention to what was left for me. Anne Lamott, another dear author I love, wrote that we need to “pay attention to the beauty that surrounds you” because if you do, it will be waiting for you.

Whatever shows up in our life after the one we lived, is a manifestation of the life you had together. We may feel like they are two distinct lives, but they actually symbolize a unity of the two. Once we stop just marking time, we can weave yet another tendril into the braid when we choose to go forward and do something with the time we have left. As Elizabeth Gilbert advises, “you have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.” The blessing of the time we shared and the time we still have.

I could spend an hour of my life pursuing something that I want, or I could spend a lifetime wishing I had.

Open a new door and see what awaits!

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE