Tuesday, december 21, 2021 Poem of the day

“Leisure”

W. H. Davies

What is this life if, full of care,

we have no time to stand and stare?---

No time to stand beneath the boughs,

and stare as long as sheep and cows:

no time to see, when woods we pass,

where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

no time to see in broad daylight,

streams full of stars, like skies at night:

no time to turn at Beauty's glance,

and watch her feet, how they can dance:

no time to wait till her mouth can

enrich that smile behind her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,

we have no time to stand and stare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With two more days to teach before the winter break, I found the reflection of Davies' words to ring true; leisure is something we all need. And what perfect timing then on the day of the winter solstice!

The absence of light, the longest of night...what an opportune time to use it to rest. Embrace tonight, the darkness, the stillness. Become rapt in solitude only night can grant us. Use it to feed your soul and to quench the desires of your heart.

For the next couple of weeks, there will be gatherings of friends and family. There will also be spiritual celebrations honoring the true Light that is already here, already within us. Even on the darkest day, we have the Light of God within. Even on the darkest of days we face from time-to-time, we have the Light within.

I am going to practice "leisuring" for the remainder of the holiday season. Rest and restore are my goals, so I will post on Tuesday, January 4, 2022. I am looking forward to catching up with the loves in my life with which I have been so richly blessed. A stack of books is begging for attention and of course much journaling.

I am wishing for you strength and love.

thursday, december 16, 2021 Quote of the day

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.”

Sir Winston Churchill

This week we acknowledged how acts of service can be the most fulfilling and satisfying experiences we can offer to those in need. The reciprocity of service, knowing we will be the giver as well as the receiver at any appointed time, only enhances the essence of service. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. stated that, “Everyone can be great because everyone can serve,” so it matters not the size and extent, but rather the simplicity of the act itself.

With the recent natural disasters dominating the headlines this week, the awareness of others have taken precedence above my own. I have a roof over my head, my health, and my friends and family are intact. I grieve for my husband, but it is unfathomable the suffering of those experiencing the sudden loss of their loved ones, their homes, and their livelihood from the recent tornados, floods, and earthquakes.

We immediately want to jump in to try to make things better, but be aware of opportunists waiting to seize the tragedy as a means to exploit and cheat. Being widowed within the first year, I was targeted numerous times by scammers. Be cautious, but serve anyway. Even Jesus's purpose on earth was to serve.

I have heard the phrase, “when all else fails, pray,” but maybe we should try prayer first. Prayer synchronizes us to a higher level of consciousness while connecting us to God and to all others. Prayer is service because we are co-creating with God with the hope of healing.

Have a beautiful weekend.

Wednesday, december 15, 2021 Quote of the day

“If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.”

Mark Twain

A thought-provoking “Twainism” to begin our wondrous Wednesday! How we can feel the corners of our mouths slipping upward into a little grin. Twain always called life the way he saw it, keeping it real and to the point. His thoughts led me to yesterday’s blog and how it relates to being of service. As we continue thinking of helping others, sometimes all we need to do is simply pull up a chair and just listen.

Jim was the best listener. Many years ago, we were out late with some friends and ended up at an old city diner. I commented on how much I liked the classic ketchup and mustard squirt bottles that sit on the tables of nearly every diner. Comically, I said, “We should get these!” Two days later Amazon dropped a box on our porch containing two squirt bottles: one ketchup and one mustard! I called him at work, and I asked him how in the world did he know I wanted these. He said, “I just listen.” His kind gesture still makes my heart melt.

We cannot fix others’ pain, but we can listen. Like Twain advises, relinquish the need to talk and just be present. Extend a hand, a cup of tea, or a stiff drink.

One of my favorite movies is Little Miss Sunshine. In a specific scene, the son in the movie has a breakdown. He leaps out of the van and runs down a steep embankment after learning his dream of becoming a pilot is extinguished. The parents are pleading with him and trying to reason and fix him, but he vehemently fights them off, rejecting their shallow logic. The boy’s little sister, Olive, quietly stumbles down the embankment, and puts her arm around her big brother. She tilts her head and gently rests it on his shoulder. They sit together, and he calms. Soon, the boy returns to the van with Olive in his arms. No words were needed.

May someone surprise you with your own ketchup and mustard squirt bottles today! Blessed are those who listen!

Tuesday, december 14, 2021 Quote of the day

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself

in the service of others.”

Mahatma Gandhi

In the book, Think Like a Monk, Jay Shetty exposes how delusional it is to search for stuff that makes us feel good. Food, drink, parties, shopping are all events that we pour ourselves into to feel busy, happy, and fulfilled. But Shetty further connects that what makes us feel good actually leads to suffering. It is as temporary as the earth upon which we live. However, when we live to serve, seeking opportunities to push outward, is when we discover fulfillment.

Depending on where you are in the grieving process, it is unbearable to think of serving anyone but ourselves. Asking for a shoulder to cry on, or two shoulders to manage the anger, is what is needed. We grieve because we love; it is the Yin and Yang of opposites proving we cannot have one without experiencing some sense of the other. Let those who are strong support you. You are not weak or pathetic, and you are not alone no matter how far down you feel.

A couple of months after Jim, I was at my yearly eye appointment. I was a total wreck and broke down during the exam; I couldn’t stop it. The ophthalmic nurse, who was my age, was widowed as well. Her husband was sick and lost the fight. She furthered the conversation to tell me about her first husband who had passed away from a motorcycle accident. Incredulity I said, “You went through this twice?” She reassured me that time would heal me. We will always love and never forget, but time allows the pain to subside. I am grateful for her. She pushed into my world exposing her deepest grief, to help alleviate mine. I felt validated, I felt heard.

Serve those who need. Accept the service of others when you need.

Embrace the Yin and Yang of service.

Thursday, december 9, 2021 Quote of the day

“The pause is as important as the note.”

Truman Fisher

As we continue preparing for the holiday festivities, it is rare to find quiet moments. The quote above by Truman Fisher struck a chord (pun intended!) about needing to pause. Pausing snuggles in nicely with prioritizing. The two work perfectly to unite peace and the holy fire of joy back into our being. Pausing before action allows for a spectacular moment to connect to self and to Source.

If we realize we are neglecting our own need to sing, to meditate, to hike because the ornaments aren’t on the tree, we need to pause. Won’t we find peace when we care for our temple and our heart first? If we decline an invitation to visit a friend because gifts need wrapping, then pause. Isn't the joy of friendship the truest gift?

Although my tree is up, my ornaments are staying in the boxes this year. The peace of decorating the tree was shared with Jim and my kids; that tradition isn’t as joyful as it was...but it will be again. Ornaments flood the senses, the memories crash over me, and it is overwhelming. I'd rather accept the invitation from a friend to hike a trail. The lights on the tree are pretty enough.

Carl Sagan summarizes how grateful I am to all of you who connect with me through StoryLight. The reflections and conversations are truly transforming, and I am delighted we share the power of stringing a few words together to change ourselves and the world.

Vulnerability becomes our strength...thank you Dr. Holmes!

Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time. A book is proof that humans are capable of working magic.” — Carl Sagan

wednesday, december 8, 2021 Quote of the day

“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.”

Helen Keller

Grief is a thief. Don’t allow grief to steal the happiness that once was. Because happiness, the joy, is still buried deep inside. By passing through grief, the sadness of longing for our loved ones, is how we find the good again...the joy.

Below is an excerpt from my memoir, Choosing To See: How Miracles Carry Us To The Other Side Of Grief, detailing an event from my first Christmas after Jim. I opened up my mailbox to find and invitation to a Christmas party:

Sharon Wible and Guest. That was how the envelope was addressed on an invitation to Jim’s holiday work party: Sharon Wible and Guest. It was as though cold water was thrown into my face, while I stood at my mailbox gaping at the invitation. I froze, for those words only solidified my isolation and my loneliness that entombed me. I was still Mrs. Wible, and I was still very married to Jim with my whole being. There is no “guest” for me. Although politically correct, the words pierced into my ribs like daggers, penetrating between each one. This devastating year had finally spiraled into December with the onset of the holidays; the first Christmas I would be without him. But I wanted to represent my husband, so I mustered up the courage because I could not allow grief to steal something else away from me. I accepted.

Once inside the City Museum, I suddenly was surrounded by servers twirling trays of champagne, chicken satay on skewers, shrimp cocktail, and crab-stuffed mushrooms. The air wafted with perfume, bourbon, gin, and pine. Enormous wreaths and ribbons adorned the breadth of the room. Ivory-colored candles flickered softly on the dining tables dressed in silver and gold linen. I plastered on my best face as I mingled and chatted with Jim’s friends and coworkers. Some were uneasy with my presence, and that was okay.

Whew, one more first. But I did it, and so can you. Joy, the holy fire, as Ms. Keller states, is the purist form of dedication and loyalty to our memories. As painful as they are at times, the joy of love will always win. Prioritize what is essential for your self-care, and whatever that may be, listen to it and follow. You will be where you need to be.

Prioritize to rediscover your holy fire...

Tuesday, december 7, 2021 Quote of the day

“At the end of your days, your life will have been what you have paid attention to.”

William James

A few evenings ago, I cozied up on the couch under a throw blanket and settled in for a movie night. I succumbed to watching a Hallmark holiday movie. Oh, the lavish abundance of garland, lights, trees, gifts, food...it was like the Ghost of Christmas Present had descended upon the little town in Scotland.

All the characters donned trendy clothing, and their hair and makeup were impeccable. The conversations were articulately orchestrated, and everyone could eat and drink all they wanted without gaining weight or becoming intoxicated. Oh, and that magical moment when the couple’s gaze became pronounced announcing their new-found love for each other. Ah, the holidays were magical! Although magical, they had nothing to do with the miracle of Christmas.

As the philosopher William James acclaimed in his aforementioned quote, I internalized it to mean, what the heck am I paying attention to this holiday season? I wonder if Jesus were to walk into my home right now, would he be pleased with what he saw.

Lights represent the “Light of the World” coming to us in the physical form of a tiny baby, born humble and poor, yet having all He needed. Gifts remind us of giving and sharing what we have in honor of the tiny babe’s birthday. The family traditions we all cherish are the connections we have with our ancestors and those who have moved on...those celebrating eternally the miracle of all we have yet to understand.

Well, Jesus IS in my home right now, and he is observing how I am living the holiday. I began to recite a mantra today: “ help me to prioritize” my thoughts and my actions. I don’t have to fulfil false expectations of what the media tells me I need to do.

Ditch the Hallmark movie, and prioritize to find your peace...

Thursday, december 2, 2021 Quote of the day

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition."

Alan Alda

Hopefully, we are learning to shovel our shoulds aside and create something new for ourselves instead! After losing a person so dear, we are left to struggle with how the traditions we once honored now sting but can heal through time and patience.

Take as much time as needed. Start conversations with family and friends and seek advice from them. Ask for insight as to what is important to hold onto and what needs to change. Redefining your family traditions forges creativity. Together, you all will create even deeper and authentic family customs.

Ranata Suzuki said, “If you cannot hold me in your arms, then hold my memory in high regard,” and I agree. My grandma made corn and oyster casserole every Thanksgiving and Christmas. Through the years, the dish has gotten smaller and smaller because it is an acquired taste, but it was Grandma. For my family, the casserole was the connection to her. Food is a subtle, yet an honorable act in remembrance of our loved ones.

Listen to your voice inside, your intuition, to help guide you. Welcome new ideas. Realize some won’t work out, so you will try something else. Be flexible and understanding.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend. See you Tuesday

Wednesday, december 1, 2021 Quote of the day

"One's real life is so often the life that one does not lead."

Oscar Wilde

Shoulds are so heavy. The media is ruthless telling us how our holiday “should” be. With the holidays now upon us, we are relentlessly hammered with unreal expectations.

Do I really have to buy a new car with a big red bow on the roof? Will the flutter of soft snowflakes drift down gently upon my house, which is covered in glowing lights and garland? Will the menu be perfect and the conversations jovial? Will my children be healthy and angelic? Will I have the perfect holiday?

Realistically, our days on the calendar are overbooked with shopping for gifts, wrapping the presents, writing out greeting cards, baking cookies, decorating the house, and hanging the outdoor lights. We end up neglecting our health and depleting our bank account so our holiday can be what someone else imagined for us. Even as I am writing, I am beginning to feel overwhelmed because of “should.”

Our health and well-being will take the brunt as we get into a fake Christmas spirit. Setting ourselves up for a perfect Christmas will culminate into disappointment because there is no perfection in this dimension, only in the next. Love and time are the true spirits of the holidays.

My son, Timmy, recently sent me a text reading, ”As I get older, I realize all the “Christmas magic” I felt as a kid was just parents that loved me so damn much.” Furthermore, as Marianne Williamson states, "Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth... Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us."

Knowing love resides in you, unwrap it, and give it away!

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE