thursday, February 24, 2022 Quote of the day

“We first make our habits, then our habits make us.”

John Dryden

Creating new habits takes commitment and time. New habits and new routines do not dismiss our loved ones; they simply make our everyday lives and situations more palatable. The longing I have for Jim, my parents, my brother, and my friends will always reside deeply within me.

When I was at church this past weekend, however, I reflected on the gift of longing. God planted within us at the time of our creation a longing; a longing for Him. We are designed to seek God’s guidance and wisdom, which is beyond all understanding. We should start our day with God, bring Him with us throughout our day, and remember Him as we climb into bed. God also blessed us with great loves and relationships, and some he chose to take back. We long for their presence because we miss them, but they were God's first.

This world is faulted, so we fall between the cracks of the brokenness when we turn from our Creator and choose to fill ourselves up with worldly desires. Plastic and artificial desires we consume to fill the void, the longing, leaving us unsatisfied. We desire things and sometimes people before God. God is the only ointment that will ever satisfy our longing because we were His first. With God, we are enough.

May you be blessed with holy longing. See you Tuesday

wednesday, February 23, 2022 Quote of the day

“Healthy habits are learned in the same way as unhealthy ones - through practice.”

Wayne Dyer

Whether good or bad, habits are hard to break. When I began training to run half marathons, I had to create new habits. If I didn’t commit to them, I faced injury or just downright embarrassment trying to make it to the finish line before dark.

In Psychology Today, an article discussed that new habits are formed within twenty-one days of the new behavior. In some of my running material and training guides, they stated the same. Since Sundays are only once a week, it would take nearly six months of Sundays for me to change our old habits into my new ones.

Nearly five years have passed, and I still have difficult Sundays. However, they are fewer and farther between. It will just take time. Allow yourself time to create new routines as well. Take all the time you need knowing you are going forward.

Jim was born on St. Patrick’s Day. He bragged that everyone partied on his birthday (as they should.) My celebration has turned into corned beef and cabbage dinners at my house. He loved that meal but not on his birthday. I have managed to morph what he loved with something different. He loved celebrating, so I have a party. I honor his day with loved ones eating the traditional Patty’s Day cuisine.

This new habit works for me. I want to continue honoring his birthday and our anniversary, but I have to do it in ways that make me appreciate the gift of him being in my life. When I write about Jim, people who never knew him miss him! He continues!

Do what works for you, and make new habits!

tuesday, February 22, 2022 Quote of the day

“Today’s new behavior is the beginning of tomorrow’s new habit.” Robin Sharma

Sundays have always been my most difficult day of the week after Jim. Sunday was the day we reserved for each other, so the gravity of his absence, only pulled me further downward.

After Jim’s passing, I tried to mimic what our Sunday would be like by recreating our same habits. Taking a walk in the morning, coffee outside around our firepit, a trip to the grocery store, and a phone call to his parents was our routine. I wanted to continue what we had because I felt that if I changed the pattern of our lives, I would be dishonoring him. But clinging tightly to what we were, only made me more despondent and depressed. It was impossible to recreate something that had passed.

Gradually, I began redefining what my Sunday would now look like without him. After a couple of years, I managed to create new habits that worked for me. I began slowly; what worked one week might not the next, so I remained flexible. I reached out to my friends and family when it was too heavy for me to carry. One Sunday afternoon, I called my brother. I ended up sitting in his living room watching football all afternoon. I just knew I could not be alone.

Laura Zigman proved a powerful point when she said, “Grief obliterates the present, forcing you to relive the past and dread the future.” Although I long to be with Jim, that was not possible, and it was preventing me from healing. I reassured myself that I will be with him again, but until then, I am still here. I simply have to put my faith and trust in the greater power and knowledge of God. He brought the two of us together, and He will again.

May you find peace in releasing your grasp.

thursday, February 17, 2022 Quote of the day

“What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wished I’d realized it sooner.” Sidonia Gabrielle Colette

Living our lives backwards enables us to live more fully in the present. A lifetime is a gift, and we get one take. I admire Jim so much for pushing through his illness and achieving such greatness in the time he was gifted. In a sense, his death now serves as my illness; it will either make me or break me. To honor my husband’s memory and to accept God’s grace, I have no other choice than to let it build within me.

Rooted in Taoism, the Yin and Yang demonstrates the interconnectedness of opposites just as Ecclesiastes does in the Old Testament. To know happiness, one has to have experienced sorrow; there is a time to mourn and a time to dance. Furthermore, death teaches us how to live.

The work we do must leave behind a legacy reflecting our craft and our handiwork that touches peoples’ hearts. Our life’s work must carry forth meaning and bring a sense of goodness back to the earth. Maya Angelou says, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” I am incredibly blessed to feel the love from those who walk along with me. I pray that I emulate the same warmth for them.

At the end of life when our final test is taken, what will be the greatest successes? What do we wish we could redo? What has given us the most joy and purpose? Those are the three elements conceptualized within everyday as I head out once more to unfold my process and my purpose.

May you enjoy unfolding the layers you find within! See you Tuesday

Wednesday, February 16, 2022 Quote of the day

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

C.S.Lewis

Have you ever wanted to travel back in time, maybe to your sixteen-year-old self or your forty-year-old self and have a little chat? Red, in the movie Shawshank Redemption, did. Red, now an old man, was imprisoned for a crime when he was just a teenager. In the film, he wishes he could go back and talk some sense into his younger self. If only he could go back and explain when to walk away, when to take a chance, when to let go of fear and just simply love. If only.

Looking back through the course of your life, what advice would you give your younger self? At the age you are now, you know so much more about the world and yourself. If only I knew then what I know now is a phrase I have found in music and within spiritual platforms. Like a teacher planning a unit, our lives also consist of a series of tests that measure our success. Being cognizant of our end, can greatly influence our moment-by-moment choices.

We certainly cannot change where we’ve been, but they do make for some great lessons and most likely some really interesting stories! Our world is stained and we will fail. My friend Steve had a mantra he lived by, which was to “fail and fail often.” If you are failing, you are trying. From your efforts, you will find your way. Learn from your mistakes and use them as kindling to further the course.

We have miles to go before we sleep…thanks, Robert!

Wednesday, February 16, 2022 Quote of the day

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

C.S.Lewis

We have miles to go before we sleep…thanks, Robert!

Tuesday, February 15, 2022 Quote of the day

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”

Soren Kierkegaard

Educators implement backwards design when creating lesson plans. Teachers determine beforehand the goals and standards students should master by the end of each unit. Activities, discussions, reflections, and tests are strategically fashioned in a multitude of ways to incorporate the goals through the duration.

All instruction culminates at the end of the unit when the test is given. The test data is analyzed to measure strengths and weaknesses of the instruction. From there, the teacher reflects and institutes the necessary changes to improve and enhance the plans for next time. How miraculously advantageous it would be if we could live by backwards design as well!

We cannot get out of this world alive; death of our body is imminent. In knowing so, we could perhaps plan our lives with goals set that we’d like to accomplish, trips that we’d like to take, and acts of service we’d like to offer. Just as teachers do, we would need to pause to measure if we are aligning our end goals to our current actions.

It makes sense to me to unfold the process rather than work into it. Knowing my life will end someday, maybe I can unfold the events in discovery rather than trying so hard to solve something I am not yet ready to understand. I trust God knows where he wants me to be when He takes me back, so I must trust my discovery…my unfolding of each step. Thich Nhat Hanh observes that one must, “Walk with your whole body and mind. Each step contains insight.

Maybe eat dessert first today? What the heck!

Thursday, February 10, 2022 Quote of the day

“When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.”

Nelson Mandela

The inability to forgive impacts our lives catastrophically. However, sometimes forgiving can be next to impossible. The wound is deep and leaves behind an ugly scar. Since forgiveness is an emotion, one that we have to work towards, we may find ourselves not wanting to forgive. So what happens then?

When reading through Jim’s journals, he wrote numerous times that we need to learn to forgive one another. My mom and I had had a disagreement. Over a few months, it turned into quite a substantial roadblock in our relationship. Jim told me that not forgiving her would eat me alive. “Ya gotta let that shit go” were his exact words.

Jim and my daughter helped me to understand Mom’s frame of mind, and overtime, I was able to cut loose from the pain and to forgive. But it was a process; I dealt with a plethora of emotions, but I finally got there. My mom and I moved forward and left our differences behind. It’s a legacy of love she and I created together.

Self-forgiving is more strenuous than forgiving another. After Jim’s sudden passing, I could not forgive myself for not doing more. I wrestled with if I had only, or what if I just. I punished myself by not eating or taking vitamins. I stopped running. I stopped living. One thing I kept doing though was reading my devotions. It finally dawned on me that if God can bestow forgiveness and grace to me, but I cannot do the same for myself, then I fail to honor my creator. Aren’t we supposed to follow those teachings?

Patience, time, and love will lead to forgiveness. See you Tuesday

Wednesday, February 9, 2022 Quote of the day

“The energy of the mind is the essence of life.”

Aristotle

Negativity can make us sick and as Aristotle stated, our thoughts navigate the passage of our lives. When we insist on holding onto grudges instead of forgiving, we are only hurting ourselves. Ironically, we are the ones suffering with little to no impact to our foe.

Toward the end of 2020, the Mayo Clinic released an article addressing how negativity, grudges, and the inability to forgive harms our physical and psychological selves. It is enlightening that a prestigious medical organization such as the Mayo Clinic talks about forgiveness as one of the keys to health!

When we genuinely forgive, it lightens the load in our hearts and minds. We release the stress, the anxiety, and the depression…the negativity associated with unforgiveness. Forgiving sharpens our mental clarity, lowers blood pressure, and provides for a restful night’s sleep.

Our culture is saturated with pills and other medication to remedy these symptoms, and in some cases, they are necessary. I am not disregarding these life-saving medications, but perhaps there is a balance to work towards. Mindfulness of our thoughts and a change in our thought patterns will likely improve our overall health. Peace can then reside within us.

Healthy mind, healthy heart, healthy soul.

tuesday, February 8, 2022 Quote of the day

“We all make mistakes, don’t we? But if you can’t forgive yourself, you’ll always be an exile in your own life.”

Curtis Sittenfeld

Recently, I’ve stumbled upon many interesting articles on forgiveness. Since I believe in intention over coincidence, I consider the readings to be synchronistic nudges from Source. So, I furthered my reading and journaled my own reflections. Forgiveness is a journey in itself. But I think that in order to truly forgive someone, we must look past the behavior that was hurtful. Understanding the motivation behind the action is where the peace of forgiveness resides.

When someone hurts us, we sometimes strike back. We are quick to judge, but rather inadvertently, we misread the calculation of others. More than likely, the action isn’t directed to us but at us. Extending grace instead of confrontation will calm a potential storm. Throwing more fuel on the fire does little good. If a person is not genuine and is consciously causing you agitation, you move him a few rows back in your theater and wish him peace. You have forgiven.

Forgiving yourself though is tough. It is easy to grant grace to others, to forgive and move on, but why is it so difficult to forgive yourself? God graces us with forgiveness; to keep carrying around what has passed, is weighty for our journey. Sittenfeld uses exile, which is a strong word to illustrate the burden of unforgiveness. It is the ultimate separation from our God. If God can forgive us, we can as well.

Dr. Wayne Dyer proclaimed that 'We forgive by releasing all resentment, anger, and bitterness and thus set ourselves free from the negative feelings that weaken us.’ That applies to you too!

Forgive and release your burdens.

thursday, February 3, 2022 Quote of the day

“Befriend thoughts that inspire you to be creative, adaptive, funny, compassionate, grateful - and whatever else your heart desires.”

Gretchen Karros

In English class, the students are working on their Future Plans Presentation. This project allows them to explore opportunities and options when considering the time when they have to “adult.” I told my own children that they have to set their alarm for thirty or forty years, so they had better enjoy where they are going!

A poster in my classroom displays a penguin swimming in the arctic waters that reads, “Not all birds are meant to fly.” The message resounds that our life’s work substantiates from something much deeper than a cookie cutter mold. One size does not fit all!

Jim was an artist, a musician, a writer. When he’d sketch a character or a landscape, he would close his eyes during a critical detail of the picture in order to see his vision more clearly. He was a self-taught guitarist and challenged himself to learn a new song every few weeks practicing every evening before bed. Jim’s writing was simple yet profound, getting to the point of his deepest reflections and perspectives.

When he was in high school and college, his parents appreciated his talent but discouraged him from making art his living. His mom and dad were realistic and tried steering him in other directions, but Jim knew with deepest sincerity the direction he needed to proceed. Their advice grounded him, yet he followed his passion. After college, he was swept up into St. Louis based PGAV designing theme park attractions all over the world. He did very well for himself both professionally and spiritually.

Jim’s innate talent was God’s gift, and he allowed it to lead him to where he needed to go. All of us have a true calling, and Confucius praises that if you “choose a job you love, you'll never have to work a day in your life.”

The creativity we are blessed with, will enact the passion that is the specific piece of the puzzle, which fits perfectly into a greater plan…a plan that we will not know until we are finished.

Whether you fly or swim, your creativity will flourish! See you Tuesday

wednesday, February 2, 2022 Quote of the day

“I have no interest in the flawless. Give me those whose cracked pieces fit together with my own.”

Bryan Sharp

Imagine accepting your friend’s invitation to attend a small gathering at his home. Now imagine strolling into his party where the warm welcome greets you immediately. You join a pocket or two of friends; the approach promises to be free from intrusion. The conversation is easy; there is no judgment, guilt, or speculation…just simplicity. This is the absolute. This is real. You have found your tribe and the essence of who you are. You are reassured that you’re in the right place.

After only a couple of months, I attended a grief class. I realized within the first few minutes this was not the right place for me. The energy, the dynamics, all of it was terribly wrong…for me. I decided not to return and allowed myself more time and space. I eventually found another that was just right…for me. One that was so natural, so organic, so real. I knew I was once again in that right place.

We became trustworthy confidants to each other. We cried at the first meeting but strangely never did again. Weekly homework was assigned: articles, books, videos, and journaling. All of us were in the trenches of grief, but were climbing out together. We gave each other permission to smile again. This convivial group of mourners learned to laugh again.

Although author Dianna Booher says that a woman “draws her emotional strength, and sometimes even her physical energy, from her relationships,” it applies to everyone. When we don’t know what the next step is on our path, a supportive peer or partner might.

Most importantly, learn to listen to the vibes of people and situations that fit best. The place where you need to be should be as easy as sinking down into an overstuffed chair with a warm mug in your hands. As you lie back in that moment, you know where you belong and where you need to go.

Find the beauty in the mosaic.

Tuesday, February 1, 2022 Quote of the day

“There is wonderful freedom and joy in coming to recognize that the fun is in the becoming.”

Gloria Gather

Last week, we assessed our personal inventory. In doing so, we gained insight as to what we have and what we still need. From there, we initiated our creative niche, so we can assist others. Suddenly, we become the stronghold; we find ourselves being the foundation and the hope. We begin to manifest ourselves into our destined intention. We are not just surviving, but we are thriving!

As Sarah Young notes, “anxiety gains a life of its own, parasitically infesting your mind,” so the sooner we can achieve a sturdy foothold, the sooner we can kick away the anxiety of grief. Our attitudes are contagious; we hold the power to be a source of whatever we put forth.

As a teacher, I face this situation multiple times daily. One of my students just recently refused to present his project. Everyone had to stand in the front of the room and show their representation, but he was steadfast; he was not budging from his chair. I was getting agitated, and I could feel it turning into anger. However, I decided to encourage him, but that’s not the best part; within a couple of minutes of my coercing, the entire class was showing support. They offered the kindest sentiments and affirmations of his ability, and he began to smile.

This situation could have gotten ugly. Instead of sending him to the office, an entire class rose a notch or two higher on the decency scale! He still declined, but I made sure he knew how fortunate he was to have such positive support.

As the reading of Colossians explains, “Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not to put them down or count them out.” I am becoming more patient, and I am learning to pick my battles. We can only do what we can with what we have. Some days you will have the stamina of a race horse. On the days you don’t, lean on others. We will ebb and flow. And that is okay.

Know you are loved and supported by the Universe. And me.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE

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