Thursday, March 31, 2022 Quote of the day

“Where can you live safely? …in surrender.”

Rumi

We are all part of a greater plan that will not come to fruition for us until our final breath. As Saje Dyer and Srenena Pisoni Dyer claim, “We cannot always see the “why, but we can choose to believe that something bigger than us can.” When we surrender our control over to our Ultimate Reality, we can reside deeply in our truth.

In the Old Testament, Jeremiah writes, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.” Likewise, the New Testament in the book of John, states that during our life, we “glorified you on earth by accomplishing the work you gave me to do. Now glorify me, Father, with the glory that I had with you before the world began.” Everything is intentional, and we've always been a part of our Creator’s plan.

The young nun and scripture both indicate service to be an important facet of our life. According to Jay Shetty, nature is always serving; the sun provides heat and light, the trees provide oxygen and shade, water quenches our thirst. To serve, reveals we are Nature. The most difficult of situations and challenges that we encounter oddly enough promote the most growth. Trust in the loving care of something so much greater, and be brave enough to surrender.

As Toni Morrison claims, “If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.” Taoism suggests that life should be lived as if you’re floating along in a canoe and sailing with the current, not fighting against it. Jim designed roller coasters, not merry-go-rounds. And what a ride he had!

Be courageous and trust in your process.

wednesday, March 30, 2022 Quote of the day

“There is no death, only a change of worlds.”

Chief Seattle

When a trickle becomes a creek, when the creek becomes a river, when the river becomes the ocean. Nature definitely shows its birthing process. Nature gently led the trickle into its final destination. There is no separation; no one can determine where the trickle in the ocean is; it has become one with something much greater.

All along the way, the trickle transformed. We do the same throughout our earthly life. It is humbling to realize we are not in control although we exercise free will. However, like a GPS tracking system, when we do veer from God’s intended course, we are rerouted to where we need to be. He is the one in control.

I had many questions after Jim passed, and I wondered if He guides us through our final hour just as He did our first. Nature has a unique way of weaving an interesting tapestry when answering our most heartfelt questions.

A couple months after Jim passed, I was in the waiting room for my doctor appointment. A young nun was waiting in the room with me as well, and we began to talk about our careers. She had been a midwife, but had recently answered her true calling to administer to the dying as a hospice nurse. My teacher appeared, and I was ready to learn. From my memoir, Choosing to See: How Miracles Carry Us Through to the Other Side of Grief:

Candidly, I asked her what she feels, what she has learned from her hospice training, and what her faith tells her, when the body stops and the everlasting one begins. Her eyes held mine for a few seconds, reading me softly. She looked down in her lap and quietly reflected before answering. The nun slowly explained two concepts: birthing and deathing. The processes are really one in the same.

Before birth, a baby has to stay in the safety of its mother’s womb growing and developing to become strong enough to support life outside the mother. The time spent in the womb will end, and every day is a step closer to the due date and the birthing of a joyous new beginning. Deathing is the same. Day by day we are inching closer to our new birth...the birthing into eternity. But until then, we have to grow and develop in the womb of the world. When the end of our life approaches, a life that has been filled with the lessons learned and the services rendered to our brothers, our purpose will conclude.

Through the deathing process of our physical selves, we are then reunited with the formless, the Eternal, God, the Creator, or Home. God is with us every step and in every second of those processes. The essence of who we are doesn't die. Death is not stopping; death is change, just the beginning of something new. Something that gloriously never ends.

In my book, I explain in depth the magic, the mysticism of those moments we shared together. It was one of the most transformative times in my life…so far.

Tuesday, March 29, 2022 Quote of the day

“...being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.”

Harriette Hartigan

Do you remember how terrified you felt when you were being born? Yeah, neither do I, yet the birthing process has to be one of the most traumatizing events we ever experience. At first, Nature embraced each of us in a safe and warm protective cavern. Echoes of our mother’s heartbeat and voice penetrated through to us from out of the darkness. In its appointed time, Nature then shifted and is now pushing us towards something new, yet incomprehensible. Imagine if we had let our fear of the unknown prohibit our life from going forward.

If fear of the future is preventing us from living in the present, then we need to step back and let Nature lead the way. I capitalized Nature because the entire Universe is Nature; God is Nature, we are Nature. Stephen Harper stated that, “Our relationship with nature is more one of being than having. We are nature: we do not have nature.” Nature intertwined the essence of our spirit and born into a human experience. Birth is God’s beautiful expression of Himself. God personified! Our bodies are the vessels, which carry the virtues of goodness.

We need to summon our courage to live in the presence of the moment, for the present is all we have. Hartigan mentions in her quote the courage of the human spirit, and Clare Booth Luce contributes that “courage is the ladder on which all other virtues mount.”

It takes courage to step forward after a loss. Our legs are wobbly, but in time, with wisdom and knowledge, we trust the miraculous mystery of Nature to lead us through. Our birth was a miraculous manifestation, the will of our Creator. We don’t remember that miraculous, yet traumatic event because God’s love protected us, and as A Course in Miracles writes, miracles “are natural, because they are the expressions of love.”

May you seek to find even the tiniest miracles.

Thursday, March 24, 2022 Quote of the day

“All doubt, despair, and fear become insignificant once the intention of life becomes love.”

Rumi

When we are grieving, it is easy to slip into survival mode. Wanting to protect our wounds is the primal reason for our motives. Some may lash out in anger, but I became reclusive in the beginning. I drove to events just so I could leave if I became overwhelmed. My intention, or purpose, was to dip my toe into the world again, while being able to run back onto the shore if it became too much.

I had so much love to give to someone who physically was no longer with me, so I turtled inward for some time in order for the fresh wounds of pain to heal. In my process, I turned to writing. My motive was to share my grief with others, so no one would feel isolated and separate. Everyone experiences loss and pain connects us. Even Sigmund Freud recognized the notion of the separation of self was neurotic.

My intention for writing was to replace my grief with love. My writing allowed my love for Jim to continue to flourish. Marianne Williamson said that, “Love in your mind produces love in your life. This is the meaning of Heaven.” She goes on to say that when fear takes control, we have found hell. Whenever my mind strays from love, I pray, run, breathe, anything that will coax the darkness to leave.

There is no separation. If we wish ill for others, we wish it upon ourselves. When we spread love with the purest of intentions, we are honoring our divinity. In the words of physicist Nikola Tesla, “We are all one. Only egos, beliefs, and fears separate us.”

May you feel the connectivity of love. See you Tuesday

Wednesday, March 23, 2022 Quote of the day

“Everything’s intentional. It’s just filling in the dots.”

David Byrne

Digging into our past and connecting the dots will undoubtedly provide clarity and understanding. We are now ready to invite intention into our hearts; we are now free to apply the healthiest intentions to them. (This is the reason I am doing this, and this is my intention behind my action.)

Collecting our personal stories and making connections between who we were, who we are now since our loss, and who we are becoming, is the essence of “how creative humans work.” Additionally, community leader and songwriter, Amanda Palmer, pushes to say that when we collect, connect, and then share, is when we become our most authentic selves. As David Byrne said, everything is intentional, so how are you creating intention?

When looking through the eyes of authenticity, we are looking through the eyes of spirit. The last lines of the poem, “Anyway,” reminds us that “in the final analysis, it is between you and your God. It was never between you and them anyway.” We activate God like a primer on a lawnmower. Prayer, meditation, and adhering to the purest intention is loving for God.

When we create intention based on competition and ego, we are deviating from our divine purpose. Ego is like the Showcase Showdown on The Price is Right. We tally up the prestigious wins and concern ourselves over how we will look in the eyes of others. Competition should be something which is looked at from the eyes of the heart. Am I better than I was the day before? Am I making the most out of my truest self, the self that God put me here to be?

You still have a story to live even though you feel the best chapter of your life has passed along with your loved one.

Invite the purest of intention in and your dots will connect.

Tuesday, March 22, 2022 Quote of the day

“I buy things I don’t need, with money I don’t have, to impress people I don’t like.”

Undetermined

As their literature teacher, I would invite my students to pause periodically and analyze the behaviors and actions of the protagonist and the antagonist in the story. Each character carries baggage into the plot. Their past experiences, relationships, and family dynamics greatly influence the people they expose throughout the story. The study deepens, and the readers soon uncover the baggage. The characters now are more predictable, and the logic behind the behaviors becomes obvious.

We carry baggage into our daily lives too. If we were to pause and look back at the motive behind our own behaviors, what would we discover? Steve Jobs stated, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards.” It is only in the looking back that we can begin to connect the dots in our own lives.

The quote for the day has been mentioned so often I am not sure who truly coined it. However, I use the motto to remind myself of what I don’t want to become. Trying to stay grounded, I recite this quote often, and then I ask myself, What is the motive behind my choice?

Take the simple example of exercising; are you working out to better your health, or do you hope to look the best at the high school reunion? There’s a bit of competition in the latter. Perhaps your motive should truly be to have less ailments as you age, and ward off medication. Maybe you want to stay fit, so you can stay active in the lives of your friends, children, and grandchildren. Workout to be around for those who love you, those who count on you and not for just your bulging biceps.

When trudging through loss, pause to see where you started in the journey. Are you connecting your dots and making the choices that are right for you? Are the motives behind them leading to healing?

Choose to listen to your inner voice.

Thursday, March 17, 2022 Quote of the day

“Synchronicity shifts us out of the ego into a view of interconnectedness with one another.”

Carl Jung

During a Christmas Eve service, a little boy was kneeling in the pew in front of me. He was facing me and his little knuckles were white from his grasp on the back of the pew. His face was all contorted, and I asked him if Santa had come yet. He stifled his excitement and croaked out, “NOT YET!” As a child, we can all remember saying, I can’t wait on many occasions. But aging matures us, and we do eventually learn patience.

Dr. Brian Weiss quoted that, “patience and timing…everything comes when it must come. A life cannot be rushed, cannot be worked on a schedule as so many people want it to be. We must accept what comes to us at a given time, and not ask for more. “ Even when we want that new job, a new home, or to move beyond our grief, we have to wait. When the time is right, God provides albeit it may not be what we want, but He alone knows what we need, and that is what we should trust. I feel cradled in the passage 29:11, as Jeremiah declares ”I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

The world throws distractions in our path, but our God is constant; it’s impossible for Him to separate from us. Psychologist, Carl Jung, believes that spiritual awakening grows from synchronicity. He called synchronicity as “a simultaneous occurrence of casually related events having meaning beyond mere coincidence.” It’s when we open the door to the magic, the coincidences, is when we feel the interconnectedness we have with our divine Creator and with one another.

We wait and we trust and with hope, we keep striving to walk a little farther and with a little more strength every day. Wait, trust, hope. Simple words, yet when woven together, form a strong rope tethered to solid rock.

Watch for the synchronicities! See you Tuesday

Wednesday, March 16, 2022 Quote of the day

“When you trust the Universe, you get to play in the magical world of God’s plan.”

Debbie Ford

The last Christmas I believed in the “magic” was in 1972. It was Christmas Eve and my brother brought me with him to his girlfriend's house. In the meantime, Santa came. My parents called to tell us to come home, so we could open the loot! As we drove down the road, barely seeing over the dashboard, I envisioned catching a glimpse of the sleigh taking off from our roof.

Later that evening, my mom read to me, and she told of the unexplained magic of Christmas swirling all around us, how it was hanging and floating through the air. That treasured moment with her made me believe all was right with the world.

I still believe in magic, but not that of an eight year old. Whether we refer to it as miracles, blessings, or synchronicities, there is an indisputable energy the Universe bestows daily to us. It happens whether or not we are paying attention. God chases us and leaps into our lives constantly. When we do notice, whether they be subtle or obvious, take note; He is reaching out to us.

Deepak Chopra claimed, “When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities. This is where magic begins. This is the state I call synchronicity.” This is what I believe to be the trusted connection to our Source.

I trust the magic, the miracles, the blessings, I am given daily. I feel Him reaching from beyond and into my heart. I receive signs at all the right times, and if I practice patience and wait for God to speak to me, I trust I will be shown where to go.

Meditation and prayer creates space within our hearts to see and feel the Divine interactions. Roald Dahl affirmed, “Those who don’t believe in magic, will never find it.” I choose to believe. May you play in the field of infinite possibilities.

May you find tranquility in waiting.

Tuesday, March 15, 2022 Quote of the day

“You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not smashing it.”

Ellen Glasgow

American novelist, Ellen Glasgow, illustrates a comically visual representation of patience. Her quote made me chuckle as I think back to how often I wanted to smash the egg before it was ready. In our hurried lifestyle, there is seldom a time that is not demanding of our attention. We impatiently scamper from one event to another playing whack-a-mole because we spread ourselves out too thin. It’s our hope that we can rush things before it’s time and our never-ending activities will give us a sense of control.

Patience is incredibly difficult when we are suffering from a loss. Planning the service and the celebration of life keeps us busy. Each step of the process is purposeful. We take comfort in the planning under the illusion that this will repair the pain we are experiencing. After the memorials, though, we realize nothing will fix it. Our sorrow is still so thick. Our pain has dug its heels in and nothing we can do seems to make it leave. We simply have to wait. As Rumi has written, "The cure for the pain is the pain."

Wait. To wait is to attune to the silence and release control. As writer Jade Mazarin suggests, “God uses waiting to change us.” Rest and look for the gifts that change will bring. The brilliant poet, Ovid advised us to “take a rest; every field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” Little reaps from a field that is rushed, and neither will you.

May you find tranquility in waiting.

Thursday, March 10, 2022 Quote of the day

“We are stronger when we listen, and smarter when we share.” Rania Al Abdullah

For nearly five decades, I have read and studied. I have listened to the wisdom that authors so graciously shared with the world. Jim and I together were devoted to staying inquisitive about God. We also visited several places of worship during our marriage to gain new perspectives. Because of our experiences and opportunities, we both deepened our faith as we embraced others.

When we all are ready, we have a duty to share our stories. This week, we’ve learned to name our grief. Naming our grief makes it less elusive; it now represents something tangible instead of the swirling emotions that fly about our hearts and minds. Corrie ten Boom divulges her horrific losses and sufferings, but most importantly, she teaches us how she didn’t let it beat her.

I express my deepest gratitude to those who have reached out to me through StoryLight. You are my teachers! As Richard Stallman said, “Sharing knowledge is the most fundamental act of friendship. Because it is a way you can give something without losing something.” Because you are my friends, I would like to share from my memoir a special night when my next teacher appeared:

The class was held in the small town of Kirkwood. The gathering was cozy with only eight of us in the class. The first exercise presented to us involved a blue note card and a pen. We were to write on the card a quote, a phrase, or a sentence that we all thought of off the top of our heads. We were not to take a lot of time thinking and reflecting but to write something spontaneous that we felt in our hearts. “Something that the Universe wants to tell us,” the facilitator cajoled. When we finished, we put them back in the center of the table. The cards were then shuffled and scattered about on the table. We were all instructed to take a card. I reached in and picked up mine. I flipped it over and it said, Share with others and let it flow.

Tell your story. See you Tuesday

Wednesday, March 9, 2022 Quote of the day

“There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.”

Corrie ten Boom

The Hiding Place was written by Corrie ten Boom, a woman so devoted to her faith, she withstood and survived the atrocities of the Holocaust. Her book was a gift I received on my nineteenth birthday, and it opened my world. This book was the one that made me fall in love with reading!

God provides us with all we need every moment of our lives, but we need to be ready and willing to accept them. Although I have always believed in a higher power, Corrie ten Boom’s accounts of her experiences in The Hiding Place only deepened my faith. I began exploring the connections between the Jewish faith and Christianity instead of focusing on the differences.

Buddha believed that, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears,” and Corrie was then my teacher. Her book was the first of many resources God provided for me. While stumbling through that first year, I read over twenty books teaching me how to do my new life. It was as if the resources I needed found me. "A good person's words will benefit many people", as Proverbs 10:21 recounts, and I am sincerely grateful.

In my journey, I have been blessed with the comfort of an ever-present Being and the advice and experiences of those who extended their encouragement. No matter how far down or how far away we feel, we will have what we need…when it is time for us to learn.

Be patient and be aware.

tuesday, March 8, 2022 Quote of the day

“Embrace your grief. For there, your soul will grow."

Carl Jung

Teaching the rules of grammar is the least favorite objective middle schoolers like to do. My partner teacher Annette and I read about a new technique to help students become emotionally engaged with their work. We then came up with a new idea to teach grammar skills; we named the grammar skills packet Wilma.

Wilma visited every Wednesday. Students looked forward to their collective despair because Wilma was going to ruin their day. We would work through two to three lessons every Wednesday, pushing through to learn about illegal comma splices and the parts of speech. After we finished, the class would cheer that they wouldn’t have to deal with her for another week.

I read this same concept once more in a devotion, and it truly works for me. As I feel grief seeping back into my being, I talk to Spike (not my grief’s real name though it’s a good one.) “Seriously, I really don’t need you now. What is it you want? Fine, but you are only staying for the next couple of hours, and then you gotta go!” Spike personifies my grief. Naming him empowers me. If I let grief own me, it robs me of the present moment and the goodness of my relationship.

When you feel Spike knocking on her heart’s door, welcome him back. You need him because feeling the pain and pushing through it is part of the process, but you get to tell him when to leave. Just as you opened the door of your heart wide to let your grief in, you can escort Spike back out when you need him to leave. You will soon realize that YOU have more control over grief than it has on you.

Our Creator promises in Psalm 34:18 that he is close to the brokenhearted, so He provides for us the resources, the people, and his unwavering love to get through the valleys.

God has given you all you need to heal.

thursday, March 3, 2022 Quote of the day

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

Virginia Woolf

Truth and sincerity are beautifully intertwined just as the scarlet and golden clouds are at sunset. Both illustrate a harmonious balance and blissful peace. After a loss, however, the anvil of grief keeps our spirit grounded. It becomes so heavy that we have to eventually reach beyond ourselves and into the comforting arms of those who will shoulder the weight. Someone we can trust, and someone we know who will be sincere.

It is horrible to admit defeat, but this is life. Life is hard, but if we unlearn our old ways from the past, possibly we could begin to embrace new perspectives. Our brokenness can provide another opportunity to build trust and be open for candid and real conversations. By unlearning the habits of our past, it clears the way for developing a stronger skill set; a skill set that empowers us and our relationships.

Whether you lose a loved one, your livelihood, or your possessions, allow your predicament to deepen your faith… faith in God, faith in others, and faith in yourself. When we welcome the assistance we need to do life, the healing begins, and then we are able to pay it forward.

Truth and sincerity will lift away the anvil and will make room for peace and joy to return.

Peace is independent of all circumstances.

Joy is independent of all circumstances. See you Tuesday

wednesday, March 2, 2022 Quote of the day

“Sincerity and peace are the basis of every virtue.”

Confucius

Relationships are immeasurably essential to humans. We yearn for the connection, but as yesterday’s entry highlighted, relationships can become calloused through miscommunication. Truth is the first virtue with which to begin, but speaking your truth does not have to be hurtful. There is a more productive and more sincere skill set that we can use.

Psychologist Adam Grant, encourages us to “frequent the practice of unlearning.” Unlearn the ways in which we were taught to communicate, so we can listen and respond more productively. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we inherit the patterns from our culture on how to treat one another. Therefore, those examples need to be reevaluated.

Buddhism reminds us that inconsiderate comments end with tumultuous results, whereas clear and thoughtful truth manifests peace. Anger and fear is a force that can be detrimental to relationships, so if we can raise our awareness to push those to the wayside, the power within us will transform our communication skills.

We all grieve differently. It is interesting that those grieving the same person will feel and respond in completely different ways. However, if we take Grant's advice, we can relearn how to interact so we guide one another to healing. I’m fine…no you’re not. Speak your truth. Show sincerity with an ear, a shoulder, or a hug.

Experience the joy of unlearning.

Tuesday, March 1, 2022 Quote of the day

“Truthful words are not beautiful words; beautiful words are not truthful.”

Lao Tzu

At church service this past weekend, our pastor asked for pause and prayer for the people in Ukraine. The situation happening is almost inconceivable considering the time in which we live. Sadly, we are adding yet more chapters of war and unrest for historians to decipher. Families struggle everyday just to survive. It is devastating.

I have watched and read the news grappling to make any sense of this. Why is peace not the goal? In this imperfect world, we already have more challenges than needed, so as my mom would say, why add more evil to the world; just be nice. But it isn’t always so simple.

Although this is on a global level, I began to concentrate on the micro aspect of relationships. No matter what dynamic, whether parent and child, husband and wife, or employer and employee, there undoubtedly will be unrest if clear communication is not established first.

How often do we find ourselves in conflicts with a family member or a friend simply because of miscommunication? Perhaps we are too quick to judge each other or the situation. Conflicts should open ourselves to achieve greater understanding, but my pastor explained that during unproductive conflicts or debates, “the attitude that is winning is one of self-invention and self-assertion.” He further added that when we fail to promote peace, we put ourselves first instead of resolve. Work towards peace instead.

In Jill Jackson’s song, “Let There Be Peace on Earth,” …let it begin with me! This we can do.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE