Wednesday, October 6, 2021 Quote of the day

"Why are you so petrified of silence? Here, can you handle this?"

Alanis Morissette from "All I Really Want"

It was one of those nights. I woke up from a restful sleep and was ready to begin my Saturday, but the clock read 3:23. Tossing about, I realized it was futile. I padded to the kitchen and flipped on the coffee maker; at least I would have some pumpkin spice coffee in my mug within minutes.

I was on my back patio before 3:45 with a blanket around my shoulders to brush away the tickle of the early fall air, and my hands wrapped around the warm coffee. Phoebe, my golden doodle, followed me out in complete confusion, but soon found her space of rest and laid down. I settled down onto my stoop. And was silent.

There is a fleeting sliver of time between night and the first peek of sunrise when there is no sound. Everything in nature is still. The nighttime bugs have stopped clicking and croaking, and the birds have not yet wakened to chirp. The leaves on my pear tree hung so delicately as though in slumber; the air was void of wind. I breathed in deeply and was suddenly overcome with a presence of something greater. I felt an amazing sense of comfort and protection. Fear and apprehension vanished into love and wholeness. Rumi said that we need to "Listen to silence. It has so much to say." The silence spoke of magnificent simplicity. If you've ever been still long enough to hear silence, it is the pinnacle of greatness!

Perhaps God needed to talk with me that morning, so that's is why He woke me so early. I believe nothing is random or coincidental, so this special predawn morning was intended. The silence you find might be different from the one I found, but search for the time that works for you...to be quiet so you can hear the silence.

May you find your sliver of silence today...and the day after that.

thursday, October 7, 2021 Quote of the day

"Tell me why the road keeps turning
When everything you want is straight ahead "

Sheryl Crow lyrics from "I Know Why"

This past Sunday, I was meeting friends for brunch and to celebrate an overdue birthday for my friend, Raquel. As I set out that morning, I made sure I had my mask, sunglasses, jacket, and gift, making a quick glance over what I needed. The stoplight in the distance was turning yellow, so I slowed down and stopped behind another car. Checking my watch, I was jittery with excitement and concerned if I was going to be on time. I glanced at the bumper sticker on the back of the car in front of me. It read, "If you want to give God a good laugh, text him your plans." Isn't that the truth!

My intention was to go to brunch that morning, but anything could have sidelined my plans. Yesterday, I wrote that nothing is random; there is a plan for every second of our day. What happens in the course of our day and our lives is so carefully orchestrated but not by us! It really takes the pressure out of trying to maintain control. If life events only went the way in which we wanted them to, we’d never manifest into greatness...the greatness that the Light intended.

I believe the Light intervened and preventing me from a car accident a couple of years ago. The following is an excerpt from Choosing To See: How Miracles Carry Us to the Other Side of Grief:

A couple of years ago, I was driving to meet my friend, Carol, at a café over the holidays. I exited off the highway and onto the ramp leading to Manchester Road. I was texting Carol that I was getting off the highway and would be there in just a couple minutes when my car suddenly pulled violently to the right slamming me into the driver-side door. My shoulder took the brunt, and my head knocked into the window. I was disoriented. The car seemed to have steered itself. This exit ramp used to be longer and straighter leading onto Manchester Road. Now, it was tightly curved and went directly into the parking lot of West County Mall. I had not been there for quite some time, so I had no idea the suggested speed of the ramp had changed to fifteen miles per hour. SOMETHING took the wheel from me. I was not paying attention to the road because I thought I had a little more time to travel up the ramp. My speed was probably forty miles an hour, and this curve was way too tight to handle the turn, but my car managed to maneuver it. SOMEONE took the wheel for me that night, for the car drove itself at that moment. I was not in control.

We are always watched over and cared for by something or someone so much bigger than ourselves. It was not intended for me to have an accident that night, so it didn't happen. Trust in your plan as you observe the synchronicity of miracles in your life!

May you trust in the invisible. See you Tuesday.

tuesday, October 12, 2021 Quote of the day

“The authentic self is the soul made visible.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Journaling encourages us to reflect upon our lives. As we unpack the weight of our thoughts and feelings onto paper, our journals allow a place for our emotions to rest; we now have less to carry.

Recently, I have been rereading my entries I wrote during the early days of quarantine when I realized something extraordinary. Not only is the active part of writing important, but the passive element of rereading those entries is just as essential. When we revisit, we notice the contrast of who we were at a specific time, where we have gone since, and who we now have become.

Aside from the word, “unprecedented”, another recurring word saturated my journaling: authenticity. The pandemic slowed my routines and agendas down tremendously. I was not racing at a near-frantic pace because I didn’t go anywhere. When I did, I developed a strategic plan to maximize the outing. Quarantine bestowed the time I needed, which enabled me to peel back my ego-based layers to discover my authentic self.

I began speaking more honestly instead of avoiding hurting others. I began to divulge what was most important to me. I began reconstructing my boundaries and my relationships. Simply, I began speaking my truth. I have never felt so vulnerable, yet also more alive and free. To be authentic, is to listen to your heart and trust the intuition that speaks to you from within. Why do we make things so difficult for ourselves?

Speak your truth today...

Wednesday, October 13, 2021 Quote of the day

“Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable.

Be honest and transparent anyway.”

Mother Teresa

Yesterday’s blog was about honoring our authentic selves when confronting our vulnerability and being honest. In doing so however, we forfeit our comfort and risk ridicule. Our foundation that we built long ago is shaken. Suddenly, our footing begins to shift and our feet slide out from under us when we empower our voice. Given enough time though, the ground beneath us settles, and once again, we are supported and held steadfast. But this time, the fit is much firmer.

We are worthy of sharing our authentic selves with those in our lives. The imaginary audience we think we have, isn’t real. Let’s rid ourselves of trying to see ourselves through other people’s eyes, for we really cannot accurately discern their view of us anyway. Once the mirroring stops, the field of vision is clear. We now are able to manifest into the unique creation as we serve our purpose and intention in ways that only we can offer. Transparency provides a level playing field; there are no accusations or assumptions, just a purity that only honesty can impart.

Mother Teresa began our meditation today, so it is just she concludes it. She selflessly served those less fortunate. Never did she worry about what others thought because she said, “You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” Oh, how I adore Mother Teresa!

Set aside the mirror today.

Thursday, October 14, 2021 Quote of the day

“I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have.”

Abraham Lincoln

All those years ago, even Abraham Lincoln spoke of the light, a light that guided him to do what was right even though he knew he would face hatred. The light was bright enough that it shoved aside his vulnerability and brought forth his authenticity and his honesty. I cannot imagine the strength it took for him to go forward. He was a man of steadfast integrity.

Thankfully, we will never have to endure the treacherous hardships Lincoln did, but the loss and grief we carry in our hearts can feel just as monumental. The biggest step for me was taking the first step, realizing that I needed to move forward. I had to rediscover my light. It was hidden away just smoldering for some time. I am not the woman I was when Jim and I were together, but one of the greatest things we can do for our loved ones is to keep going. I reinvent myself everyday to live with great authenticity. God’s not finished with me yet.

This week the discussion about authenticity led us from vulnerability to transparency; we expose our truth without fear, so we are limpid souls for others as well as ourselves. Integrity is the culminating thread that bonds these qualities together. Integrity is how we live our lives because it is our calling. Likewise, we kindly respect the authenticities of others.

Living authentically, we may find ourselves alone or hurt. Nothing lasts forever, so these situations will change, and eventually, we will find ourselves surrounded by new opportunities, embraced in the kindred arms of newfound friends, and on adventurous challenges.

Unleash your authenticity!

Enjoy your weekend...See you Tuesday

Tuesday, October 19, 2021 Quote of the day

“It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars.”

Richard Evans

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

An excerpt from Choosing to See: How Miracles Carry Us Through to the Other side of Grief

Cancer is plural; it affects everyone. Our family and our friends were devastated to hear the news of Jim’s illness. Multiple myeloma granted him only two or three more years with us, but Jim vehemently decided he needed more than that. There were too many fears to be reckoned and too many dreams to be fulfilled. He was working to conquer his fear of public speaking, and above all, he desperately wanted to someday see his first grandchild. Jim was forced to choose to either let cancer victimize him or to allow cancer to reignite his purpose. He chose full-throttle ignition. So what did we do first? We planned a family trip to California.

Our children, my brother, Howard, and the two of us flew into Los Angeles and then drove to the Sierra Nevada Mountains. We stayed in a rustic lodge and planned to hike, horseback ride, and to simply enjoy our time together. Jim felt good, and we were all in hopes of changing his earlier prognosis. We had a beautiful life together, and we wanted to live it.

One evening, Jim and I were strolling hand-in-hand on the paths around our lodge when we stumbled upon a man looking through one of the most magnificent telescope we had ever seen. He glanced over and said, “Hey, you wanna see Andromeda?” His tone was so matter-of fact, like Andromeda is as common as seeing the moon. We spent nearly an hour with him looking not only at Andromeda, but countless constellations as well. We were both brought to tears as we were awestruck by such splendor, to witness the miracle of light the darkness shone. The black velvet of night blanked the sky allowing the light of the galaxies to come forth. Without darkness, we could have never seen the miraculous light.

When Jim and I plummeted into the darkness of cancer, floods of people from all walks entered into our lives. Prayer chains, food, wine, phone calls, gifts, outings, advice, visits, and cards were just a few of the light-bearing gifts presented to us. We even had an order of nuns, who only wore pink, praying for us. Because of the darkness we faced, the light from others shone through.

We were so richly blessed with the bounty of those who came forth to add the much needed spark to our exhausted flame. Thank you for being our light. I, and Jim in spirit, love you.

Radiate light to all today.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021 Quote of the day

“ Nothing can dim the light that shines from within .”

Maya Angelou

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

The best time of my day is already over before 5 a.m.. Each day begins with a warm mug of coffee and a splash of caramel or pumpkin creamer. My dog, Phoebe, wanders around the dewy yard as I settle onto my stoop to connect with Source.

The silence and the connection I make with my Creator at the start of my early mornings erase the discontented chaos that saturates our culture. These mornings refuel my inner flame and remind me I have the Universe inside me and that I can be a light of change. It seems preposterous in those purist moments that negativity, selfishness, and greed will monopolize the headlines as soon as I flip on the TV.

My friend Lola and I were meeting up one evening for a class. She was driving around frustrated looking for a parking space along the crowded street, but she stopped herself from the anxiety of the moment and chose connection over frustration. Realizing her body housed the Ultimate Reality, she simply asked, “Hey, Universe, I’d really like to find a parking space.” And around the next turn, a car was pulling out and she pulled in. It was directly across the street from our meeting place.

Lola could have chosen frustration, but she released it and chose harmony; harmony in reconnecting to the light inside of her to the Light of the world. Her smile beamed brightly as she joined the class. Her energetic vibe was a happy calm. Think how different the class would have been if she had brought in her frustration!

We all have the light of our Source inside of us, and we all have a shared responsibility to ourselves and to each other to let it shine.

I will forever be grateful for those whose lights brightened up my days after Jim passed. Knowing I could never repay them for their light of kindness and love, I am learning to pay it forward.

Be the inextinguishable flame...

Thursday, October 21, 2021 Quote of the day

“ Be strong enough to stand alone, be yourself enough to stand apart, be wise enough to stand together when the time comes .”

Mark Amend

When our lives change through loss, we soon realize we don't fit where we once did. Suddenly, I was not a Mrs.. I was now a widow, which is such an ugly ominous title. With my oldest and dearest friends, I never felt a void or felt like a fifth wheel, but other relationships though became uncomfortable. I lacked the conversational skills of pleasantries. It was exhausting, and it felt forced and plastic. For a time, I preferred to be alone. I needed to be alone. It allowed me time to manifest. I had to break away from the norm, the routine, and develop the mindset to stand as just one.

However, being alone does not mean being lonely. Alone is discovering you're enough. Alone is not having to fill up time with events we don't want to attend with people who are not helping us transcend. Feeling lonely on the other hand, invites creativity and imagination. It make us grow; it drops us down to see in what new ways we can push ourselves back up.

I eventually settled into new places where I was more comfortable. I found where I fit and what felt right. I had to part with my old ways in order to make room for the new. I was okay with walking away from things that were not going to help me grow even if I was breaking up and away from all I had once thought to be my truth. But oh was this hard.

As I began to get my wings, I fell once again into the hurried lifestyle of working and schedules, but I was aware of something greater. We are all here to fulfill a purpose we will never understand until we stand before our Creator. Therefore, I also need to be conscientious of the connection we have to each other because we are all along on the same journey; we are just catching a different wave.

Rumi, a favorite poet of mine, quoted, “You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in a drop”. How magnificent to know that the Kingdom of God, the Universe, is within us. Standing together amidst our diversity...how beautiful is that!

Have a beautiful weekend...See you Tuesday.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021 Quote of the day

"Happiness is a direction, not a place."

Sydney J. Harris

Gretchen Rubin’s book, The Happiness Project, offers excellent ideas to engage happiness. After reading her book, there are two techniques that stuck with me: decluttering and cocktail party conversation.

First of all, why do we need five pairs of black pants? Choose two that work the best and donate the other three. As we repeat the process with seven white t-shirts and ten suits, suddenly our closet has reached clarity. Where it once was jammed with clothes that lost themselves in its squished contents, is now airy, more organized and free. And you will save time searching for what you want to wear.

Conversations at cocktail parties and social gatherings can quickly become frivolous. In her book, Gretchen thought to increase her social skills by reading a few magazines every month. Any genre and topic were welcomed. Soon, Rubin knew current facts and trivia about quite an array of subjects and themes. I actually made a lesson plan doing this in a reading class I once taught. After skimming through the magazine for ten minutes, the class walked around and shared their newfound knowledge!

As we focus on creating happiness after loss, we are leaning towards positivity no matter how small an effort we make. Finding happiness is external; cleaning closets and learning the latest news will eventually lose its luster. Then, we will once again be searching for something outside ourselves to makes us happy.

In the very beginning, I made small steps to feel happiness once more. I made dinner plans with friends, I took walks, and I journaled. I even had Jim's handwriting tattooed on my wrist, but that didn’t fix it either. Nothing ever could. Happiness is fleeting. Happiness is temporary. However, it is a direction, a direction forward.

Hoping for you to find a new happy today!

Wednesday, October 27, 2021 Quote of the day

"Happiness is based on what is happening around us.

Joy is based on what is happening within us.”

Margaret Minnicks

When happiness begins seeping into our daily routine, our perspective rapidly changes. Removing the physical and mental clutter allows our space to air. The potentiality to be happy increases because we have created a new structure in which to live; our choices begin spinning in a more positive direction. Suddenly, it is easier to be kinder to others and more patient with ourselves.

Choosing the path of happiness can alleviate stress and offer us comfort, yet we cannot lose sight that happiness is dynamic. Things that make us happy one day, will not on another. We will want to buy a new car, buy a new sweater, or change the paint color in a room of the house. So if happiness is temporary, then there has to be something else that is heavier and more substantial than just being happy.

During my first year of grieving, I began reading about the differences between happiness and joy. In every spiritual book I devoured, the concepts translated throughout them were synonymous: happiness is temporary whereas joy is permanent.

As the quote above by Margaret Minnicks states, joy is what resides in the depth of our soul. Joy is the mentor, the friend, the constant that will still be lingering long after the thrill of happiness subsides. Joy remains with us because it has the capacity to fulfill our every need. Joy is our Creator and is permanent.

Learning to be joyful when our life turns upside down takes a ton of trust and total submission to the will of what God intends. If we view this in any other way, we are simply choosing to be frustrated. Parents protect their kids from getting hurt because parents foresee the outcome. Children get angry and cry because things don’t work out the way they intend, yet the parent has provided their needs. Since we are children of God, why are we so caught up in control? He’s got this!

Be Happy... Be Joyful!

Thursday, October 28, 2021 Quote of the day

“When the mind is pure, joy follows like a

shadow that never leaves.”

Buddha

We began the week by discovering ways we can feel the warmth of happiness again. A step at a time will eventually get us across the room, so too with our will to move away from grief. We are presented with a chance to reinvent ourselves. Simple things at first, decluttering a drawer and making plans to see friends, will melt away the ice that has built up around our hearts. We decide what keeps us caged or what gives us wings.

The Book of Joy, written by the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams, discusses a multitude of topics. At any point, the reader can flip to a chapter and gain insight, and I encourage you to do so. The Dalai Lama says that “the way through sadness and grief that comes from great loss is to use it as motivation and to generate a deeper sense of purpose.” This testament helped me to process the survivors' guilt that I carried. I sometimes still carry it around, but not near as long as I did. I imagine my parents, my brother, and my Jim watching me live my life every so often. I hope they are proud. That, for me, gives me wings.

True joy is not clinging to people or possessions. Nothing belongs to us; we are gifted through grace with amazing people to love, and exciting things to have that navigate our vessels through this physical world. Everything we truly need is already inside of us. Everything could fall away from us, yet we would be whole.

Our departed loved ones brought us so much happiness while we were together. But as we now know, happiness is temporary. Everything and every person in this life is impermanent. But joy...JOY is the bridge that connects us still. Joy is what we take with us.

We can feel sad but still be joyful. See you Tuesday.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE