September 2021 Blogs

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 POEM OF THE DAY

"September Changes"

by Jessica Millsap

September is like no other

It's days change color and weather

No other month can say quite the same

For every day, I can feel the change

Another August fades into memory. September now softy enters and ushers in the subtle hints of autumn. The urgency of summer is nearing the end; the weary sun is spent. It sleeps in a little longer each morning and retires earlier with every approaching evening. In comes shorter days, cozy fires, flannel sweaters, falling leaves, and crisp breezes. Change is coming.

Change is constant; it's that consistent variable that dangles in our lives at the most inopportune times. Because of change, whether good or bad, nothing lasts forever.

When I was sixteen, my parents bought a beautiful home with a built-in pool. I distinctly remember laying out on the diving board thinking that I would not have this forever. So I relished that time there soaking up the sun and being a teenager.

When my babies were little and I burped them after a feeding, the entire palm of my hand covered their tiny backs. I knew my son and daughter would grow up and move away and create their own lives, so I treasured as many moments with them possible. But change happened; my parents moved from that house with the pool, and my babies became adults. And I am definitely not sixteen.

We change like rivers do; we go through the routine of our days without noticing the subtle changes we are making. One day, we return to the river to find it twisting in a new direction with branches strewn across. One day we too realize we are different from our own twists and fallenness. And we admire our beauty.

Peace to you all today.

Tuesday, Sept 14, 2021

“ Energy never disappears from the Universe."

Albert Einstein I am in awe of the great minds of those who have lived before my time...those who have been challenged to reach far beyond to question, explore, and discover the great mysteries of our Universe. On an earlier blog, I wrote that we all stand on the shoulders of others, and this applies here as well. The year Galileo died, Isaac Newton was born. The year James Clerk Maxwell died, Albert Einstein was born. The year Einstein died, Michio Kaku was born. A most thought-provoking book I recommend to you is, The God Equation, written by the aforementioned physicist, Michio Kaku. This book literally jumped out at me during my visit to the library. Kaku's book, along with many other writings, have led me to make connections between the scientific world and the spiritual one. This is what I have gathered so far. The principles of physics state that energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed, so this must mean that we were always in some form of existence. In Ephesians 1:4, it relays the same: "I chose you before the creation of the world..." The Tao Te Ching states that all life originates from nonbeing. Between the discoveries of atoms, protons, neutrons, photons, and thermodynamics, science seems to strongly prove that there is something beyond our physical death. I believe we continue after physical death because energy cannot be destroyed and that we are reunited once again with our Creator. If our Creator is actively working in our lives, and our departed loved ones have rejoined the Creator, then doesn't that indicate our loved ones remain in our lives as well? May you embrace the mysteries today!

Wed. Sept 15, 2021

I am dedicating this blog to my mentor and friend, Dr. Jason Holmes and my daughter, Jessica. Because life is bittersweet.

“ In the Desert"

by Stephen Crane

In the desert, I saw a creature, naked, bestial,

Who, squatting upon the ground,

Held his heart in his hands,

And ate of it.

I said, "Is it good, friend?"

"It is bitter---bitter," he answered;

"But I like it Because it is bitter,

And because it is my heart."

When Jason introduced this poem to me when I was his student teacher, I thought, wow, weird. I was then in my thirties, raising a family, and taking eighteen to twenty one credit hours a semester. Poetry was not my priority unless I had to write an essay about one. Of course I knew it had deeper meaning, but I was not at the point in my life where I could feel it.

As I look upon the poem more than twenty years later, it resonates deeply. That's the beauty of poetry; it takes on a life of its own and changes accordingly depending on who and when it is being read. Jessica and I shared a conversation not too long ago about how life is bittersweet; something wonderful happens and the corner turns revealing an "are you serious?" event.

If life were all roses and lollipops though, how would we grow? It is easy to empower the bitter and make it the idol of our thoughts. It seems we neglect to credit the sweet and feel the gratitude of those moments too. Like the sweet, the bitter becomes part of who we are; they intertwine together and are kept in our hearts.

May you appreciate your bitter as well as your sweet.

Thurs. Sept 16

"Seek the path that demands your whole being." Rumi

There is no manual that tells you what to do when you are grieving. How convenient it would be to open up the reference guide and follow the directions to overcome this suffocating pain. But there is no such instruction except what is found within your heart.

I thought I would live in our house for years to come, but after two, I knew I couldn't stay. The memoires were so thick and peered around from every corner. Staying prevented me from moving forward. I chose to take classes, while others may choose to date and find new relationships. Whatever works for you, do it. There is no need to explain yourself to anyone. There is certainly no need to report to or seek approval from anyone either. As long as it is right for you, then that is path to travel.

Friends and family will offer comfort and advice and will try to "fix" things. Even though they can't, let them try. Value the relationships because they love you, and love is all that matters. They are grieving too. A few months after Jim passed, I felt the pain of others instead of just my own. I asked my friend I worked with to tell me what happened at school that morning when everyone found out. They gathered in the parking lot as everyone arrived, held each other, and cried. They walked into school consoling one another. There was love. A woman whom I had recently met at church, invited me out for coffee. She had been widowed for nearly twenty years. During our time together at Panera, I asked her how could I ever repay everyone for all their kindness. She took my hands in hers and stared into my eyes and said, "You never will, but you can pay it forward." There was love.

Do what you need to do to heal. This is your path, but appreciate those who want to walk it with you.

Rest and restore this weekend. See you Tuesday.

September 21

"Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think." Brene Brown

Over my lifetime, I have met some pretty outstanding people. The two people that were most influential to me were St. Louis Cardinal's short stop Ozzie Smith and astronaut, Jon McBride. I told both that I am a teacher, and asked them what is it that they would want my students to know. They both shared a common theme: just show up!

Being a teacher, I look for ways to impress upon my students that there are multitudes of windows from which to look. It is easy to become complicit and accept situations one necessarily doesn't like. We fail to learn and utilize the tools for change. Remembering the wise words from Ozzie and Jon, I encourage my 8th graders to show up, try new things...the worst that can happen is that they learn they don't like something. However, they just might stumble upon something they do! So I tried it out for myself.

A crucial lesson I learned from a grief class was that changing routine was vital. Going home after work was tortuous, so I began enrolling in classes and searching online for community activities. I discovered that Sonia Sotomayer, the Supreme Court Justice, was speaking in St. Louis at the Blanche M. Touhill Performing Arts Center, and I wanted to attend. By the time I logged on to buy my ticket, the event was sold out, but I showed up anyway. What's the worst that could happen? I would lose an hour of my day driving back home.

The lobby was buzzing with anticipation and excitement. The woman at the counter asked to see my ticket; I told her I didn't have one. Apologizing, she politely turned me away as she threw her eyes back to the person behind me. "But, I really want to go. I am a teacher, and this would mean so much to me." She sighed and told me to wait. She came back with a ticket! "Oh, one more thing. I would also like to have an autographed copy of the Justice's book." She huffed, reached back and handed me a copy.

Walking into the busy beehive of excitement in the auditorium, I realized that my seat was front row center balcony, and who did I sit beside? Mrs. and Mrs. Touhill who funded the Center! What a lovely conversation I had with them! All because I showed up!

When I was in the heaviest of my grief, I could barely get out of my chair. I wanted to hide. As I look back though, I actually was showing up because showing up meant confronting the loneliness, the pain, the silence. Showing up for me during that time, was recognizing the sacred temple inside of me. I have stated before I could not get a grip on my grief unless I went through it...not around, or over, or under, but through. Showing up for my sacred self honored our love, our friendship, and our marriage with which I was so richly blessed.

Show up for your sacredness, push out when you are encouraged, and retract when you need the time to process and heal. You loved greatly; that is why you grieve just as much.

Peace to you all today.

September 23

"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than hanging on." Eckhart Tolle

Yesterday's blog forged ahead in the pursuit of asking what if...to be fearless in the pursuit of living our lives to the utmost fullest. However, not all what ifs are the best option. Events I've experienced have reassured me that I am really not in control. Like not at all! There is absolutely nothing I could have done that morning to have saved my husband although I held tightly that I could have for almost a year. But it was simply his time. We have an appointed time when we enter this life and an appointed time when we expire, and nothing we can do can change that. It is not our call.

Resigning to this has helped me release the guilt, the what ifs, the why didn’t I, and the if I only would have that bludgeoned me for so long after. As I have continued to move in the direction way from grief, letting go is the ointment soothing the sting out of pain. Everyone has an expiration date. If only we could flip ourselves over onto our bottoms and read the date or better yet, locate the best if used by date. But would we? Should we? Our time here in form is miniscule, so it needs to be intricately nurtured. That tiny space between our predetermined birth and death dates, that space between the bars, is ours to create. The space between can be a prison of fear and apprehension, or the space between is life’s miraculous and joyous journey. How will we live out that fleeting allowance of time is totally up to us.

Why do we make life’s epic tragedies so hard on ourselves? Why do we burden ourselves with the guilt? Maybe we should trust in a child-like manner what we cannot understand. Prayer, meditation, and silence will connect us to our source, giving us the reassurance to forgive ourselves for what we wish so badly we could change.

Live and let go...peaceful weekend wished for you.

Sept. 28, 2021

"I would never finish the race if I dragged all that with me. So I dropped all of it on the pavement and ran." Peter Sagal

NPR airs a show on Saturday mornings called, "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" The show was a favorite of ours that Jim and I listened to almost every Saturday while either driving to the gym or completing chores around the house. With his sharp wit and comical guests, host Peter Sagal, satirizes the headlines and those who made them. Contestants phone in from all over the country competing to answer Sagal's questions from the week's news.

I was meandering through a book store on a Saturday afternoon when I stumbled upon a red book with a muscular L-shaped leg kicking a shoe in the air across the cover. The Incomplete Book of Running, written by Sagal, jumped off the shelf and landed in my hands. Being a runner myself, I was intrigued. I knew he wore many hats as an actor, writer, author, and radio host, but I did not know that runner added to his repertoire as well. Walking up to the checkout counter, I thought the book would fill the void I had been missing from Sagal's weekend visits through the radio. I had missed his voice and the show, but mostly, I missed Jim there to share it with me. Some songs and movies have managed to seep their way back into my heart, but to this day, I still cannot listen to "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" The sting is still too distinct because I expect to hear Jim's laughter. The book does not disappoint!

Peter's prose beautifully intertwines the complexities of running and of life. Thich Nhat Hanh and Eckhart Tolle both write of staying in the present moment...the now. Sagal captures the like theme as he writes: "...is that sense of handing myself over to the moment I was in, trusting that what had brought me there would carry me through..."

"But the mark of a runner is to always get up."

"...patience and focus to stay in the mile I'm in."

"It's not a sprint, but a marathon, and I'm good at those."

Isn't it magical that Peter Sagal sauntered back into my life? If I couldn't have the radio show, I am even more blessed to have his writing. I read his book at another pivotal time...do I stay down or do I get up? Running is about endurance, and so is my love and passion for my husband and for the life I am left with without him. I got up...

May you enjoy every step, every moment today.

Sept. 29, 2021

"Miracles happen everyday, change your perception of what a miracle is and you'll see them all around you." Jon Bon Jovi

The quote above reminds me of a similar one spoken by Wayne Dyer: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." To teach perspective and viewpoint, I asked my students to look around the room from their seats. Then, I asked them to stand on their chairs and look around the room. Lastly, I asked them to turn and look behind them. Aside from the dust and cobwebs and candy wrappers, they saw things they had never seen before.

When we find ourselves in new situations, it can be exciting yet also intimidating and uncomfortable. When taking classes for college, I traveled the MetroLink, which was new for me. It was unsettling sorting through the whereabouts of the stations and the times, but I also found myself for the first time as a minority. I found myself in a new perspective, a perspective of seeing myself differently as well as those around me. But that experience was like a freshly-tilled garden! Traveling with the same passengers everyday, we began sharing stories of family and work. I even learned of a million recipes and remedies using garlic!

Miracles can be seen the same way as perspective I believe. C.S. Lewis said that, "Miracles break the law of nature." Miracles abound in nature; how can a seed determine when to sprout? How can the leaves decide to let go and fall? How can we see our Creator in the eyes of others? Being in the moment allows me to see miracles because it slows down my actions and my thinking. A new baby is a miraculous little creature, but they grow to be children, then adults, and then the aged, yet they are still miraculous creatures. My practice is to look into the eyes of those I am with and realizing they are like me. We are like each other. We are the purist of miracles.

Regarding yesterday's blog, was it really magic that Peter Sagal's book found me? Nah, I'm pretty certain it was a miracle. Even the tiniest of miracles is a nudge from God.

Recognize a miracle with those along your way today.

Sept. 30, 2021

" Children have neither a past nor a future. Thus they enjoy the present, which seldom happens to us.”

Jean de La Bruyère

If you want to see life lived in the moment, watch children at play. A shroud of oblivion hangs over them. They are unaware of everything else except their game of tag or kickball. Children play in the moment, eat ice cream in the moment, sob in the moment, and giggle in the moment. Children are resilient and move forward so much easier than adults.

Grief makes us feel the pain and loss, which is in the past. Fear makes us immobile to step forward. So what is between the past and the future? The present moment. We cannot allow grief and fear to have the power, the final say, to who we are to become. We have all forged through trauma, grief, losses, and fear, but we are finding our way through. The present moment is life. I felt so guilty for still having one, but living is the greatest honor I can give to the ones I've lost. Every second of our life is made up of the present moment. We have 86,400 moments everyday.

Be like children at play and use them to the fullest!

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2021 POEM OF THE DAY

“ Energy never disappears from the Universe."

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