wednesday, June 18, 2025 Quote of the week

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Nelson Mandela

As we process the life we are left with after the death of our loved one, we are faced with a multitude of changes. Some situations that arise are easily solvable, while others are far more daunting. It is important to remember, however, that deciding how to proceed is uniquely yours. Do what is right for you, what works for you, instead of worrying what others may think or how your decisions might look from someone who isn’t you.

First of all, take your time. Any major decisions, which can look different from one person to the next, should be avoided within that first year of loss. In retrospect, I would have done a few things differently. The choices I made then weren’t bad ones; they were what I needed to do at the time. Roman scholar, Cicero, said that, “more is lost by indecision than wrong decision.” I was at least moving forward.

I originally wanted to stay in the home Jim and I built together, so I refinanced the mortgage to make it more affordable on my single income. Financially, it was not the best decision, but it was right for emotional me. Not too soon afterward, I found it impossible to stay. It was our dream, and without him, I had to discover my own. I was hanging on to dreams that were no longer mine leaving me exhausted and lost. Courtney Carver wrote that, “when you are overwhelmed, tired, and stressed, the solution is always less. Get rid of something. Lots of somethings.” I eventually did but on my own time.

Within a couple of years after Jim’s passing, I moved to a smaller and more manageable home. I sold both our cars and bought a new one. Over time, I sorted through family relics and treasures and gifted those back to Jim’s dad, siblings, nephews, and niece. Others I have saved for our children. Carver wrote of getting rid, which sounds heartless, so for me, it was re-homing.

Making decisions, decisions that will change the course of your life, should not be made in haste or because someone else thinks it’s time. Have the conversations with those you love and trust, and then choose what will be the right move.

You don’t have to solve everything at once.

wednesday, June 11, 2025 Quote of the week

"When setting intentions, focus on the specifics of what you really want, not necessarily how it plays out.”

Russell Eric Dobda

Creating space amongst the dusty shelves of our storage rooms and closets is freeing! Recycling and repurposing our once-loved treasures will furnish a necessity for someone else. Once cleared, we may have new intentions for the space that was once all too consumed. Likewise, through prayer and meditation, our mental chatter eases as we clear our minds to listen to the stillness. Now there’s space between our thoughts, so new intentions and ideas can manifest. But just how does one learn to live more intentionally?

My second semester proved to be challenging in several ways. Not only was I attending to the needs of my students and the demands of my job, but I was also confronting a monumental shift of retirement. The previous methods of handling my struggles were failing me, so I began silently reciting a mantra as needed throughout my day. As I inhaled, I chanted to myself the words love, joy, peace, and happiness. My exhalation was and everything that isn’t. This simple process of inhaling and exhaling my mantra cleared the clutter, the old methods that no longer worked for me, and made space to allow new emotional growth.

“When you declutter - whether it be your home, your head, or your heart,” Peter Walsh quotes, “it is astounding what will flow into that space that will enrich you, your life, and your family.” That simple change alleviated so much of the stress I was carrying. It’s a daily practice that needs to be nurtured for mental and emotional health. “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows,” as John wrote in 16:33, but on the other hand, we are also gifted with free will. We can choose to succumb to the earthly problems or we can “set our minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” as Colossians 3:2 proclaims.

I set a new intention of breathing in what I need and letting go of what I no longer want. Refusing to be a victim of challenges, I lean into something different. Instead of reacting, I respond. Reacting is giving permission for the situation to control me. Responding, however, allows my mind and heart to work in unison. When coupled with love, joy, peace, happiness as the intention, true creation emerges. “Our intention,” Wayne Dyer reminds us, “creates our reality.” I choose love, joy, peace, and happiness.

Recycle and repurpose your old intentions! Choose a new intention daily.

wednesday, June 4, 2025 Quote of the week

“A cluttered mind will never lead you to a clear path.”

Christina Scalise

School’s out! I retired at the close of this school year, so I packed up my classroom and brought all my personal possessions and teaching resources home. I made room in my basement to house everything until I decide what I want to keep and what I will donate. Minimalist Courtney Carver said that, “If you aren't sure at first, don't worry. Sometimes you have to get rid of the things that don't matter to let the things that do rise to the surface.” I need some time to percolate through this process of transition. Gratefully, time is what I now have a bit more of.

Conversely, my house is once again filling up with stuff! Decluttering is my goal, yet here I am adding to its content. Clutter and disorganization overwhelm me. They seep into my porous soul and infiltrate into my peace. In addition to my school resources, I noticed that I have three coffee pots, eight loaf pans, a copious assortment of coffee mugs, ten beach towels, and over twenty-five t-shirts for which I have no need. Therefore, I donated my extras to a local women’s charity. My storage room is gaining space!

Author Leo Babauta reminds us that, “decluttered spaces invite us to think more deeply about what we really need and want in our lives.” When we remove what is no longer purposeful, we embrace openness. I find it interesting that the less I have, the more at ease I feel. Aside from our homes, what about the thoughts in our minds? The debris, which is clunking around inside of us, is our archaic ways of thinking. Once we decide what is no longer serving us, we broaden our creativity.

Release what is no longer needed after losses, such as guilt, anger, and isolation. During prayer, give gratitude for the gifts, and pray for what is desired. In meditation, mind-chatter silences. German theologian Meister Eckhart wrote that “to quiet the mind all things are possible.” Think of nothing, create space, so we can listen to God and feel His presence. Prayer and meditation open unity between us and God. Just like my school year, everything we no longer need is dismissed; declutter to receive peace.

Find quiet moments to simply listen throughout your days.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE

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