wednesday, April 23, 2025 Quote of the week

“Through one lighthouse, you guide many ships.”

Lisa Wingate author of, The Prayer Box

One of the many attributes I admired about my husband was his insatiable love of learning. Jim would lose himself for hours delving into various topics. We were on our way to Target one afternoon, and he was completely engrossed in something on his phone. I glanced over to him and asked what he was reading. “It’s an article on how the Romans constructed the aqueducts.” Well sure… because that is what one does on a trip to the store to buy toothpaste and toilet paper.

Recently, I was looking through photos of our 2016 vacation to Maine. Although we never captured a sighting of Stephen King taking one of his legendary walks, we instead toured the Pemaquid Point Lighthouse in Bristol. Jim was in his glory learning about the construction and how it navigated ships safely in and out of port. Carrying forth his curiosity, I researched the history of lighthouses. According to The Lighthouse Preservation Society, I was astounded to learn they date back 285 BCE in Egypt. George Bernard Shaw said, “I can think of no other edifice constructed by man as altruistic as a lighthouse. They were built only to serve.”

During the rough seas of grieving, there are many lights that shine through the fog. The light we eventually see is only made evident because of our shrouded hearts. “In order for the light to shine,” Sir Francis Bacon coined, “the darkness must be present.” What has beckoned you from your darkest times? Mine are love and hope. People gifted me with their time and their service. Hope is from God and is keeping me buoyant, knowing that I will have forever with all the ones I’ve lost.

The light needn’t be tall and mighty…it just needs to shine.

To all those who weathered with me my storm, “You were my lighthouse when I was lost at sea, without you, I would never have found me.” Gemma Troy.

Pictured: Pemaquid Point Lighthouse

wednesday, April 16, 2025 Quote of the week

"Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.”

Henry David Thoreau

When life recklessly strikes, and you find yourself on a road you never intended to travel, you may begin questioning your worth. Feeling as though you are being punished for past transgressions, you collapse and absorb the victimization of fate. Circumstances define you, whether it be fear, failure, or anxiety, but you are not any of those. You are a human experiencing hardships and challenges. And so is everyone else.

In the span of just a few months, I lost my husband and my mom. Guilt was my kryptonite. The questions I carried were ones like, “what more could I have done? what did I miss that could have prevented their deaths?” and the dreaded, “if only I had…”. The shadow of guilt lingered over me for years. Most people seemed as though they could handle life really well, so in comparison, I was a victim of my weakness. However, in Galatians 6:4-5, we are reminded not to “compare yourself with others.” The struggles of others are not obvious, so “you must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.”

It wasn’t until I began connecting with others that I realized I was not all that special; everyone suffers through difficult times. Friends and family listened and walked with me along this crooked path. As my resilience strengthened, I acquired the capacity to ask them about their own grief processes, and soon the darkness cracked, letting in rays of hope. Nelson Mandela wrote that “...we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” The reciprocity of love!

Finding connection was vital for me to survive the blows life threw me. “The need for connection and community is primal,” Dr. Dean Ornish states, and is “as fundamental as the need for air, water, and food.” We are students and teachers for each other as we all hobble through the difficulties of loss during our journey, and we are also there to celebrate our wins!

You are not your circumstance, and although “you are wired for struggle,” Brene Brown writes, “...you are worthy of love and belonging.”

Labels cannot define you.

wednesday, April 9, 2025 Quote of the week

"Honor the space between no longer and not yet.”

Nancy Levin

Words are fascinating. Frederick Buechner remarked that,“ the magic of words is that they have power to do more than convey meaning…”. My linguistic interest began when I held Socratic Seminars in my classes. Students easily spent several periods discussing power versus force, or negotiating compassion versus empathy. Recently, my students were holding a discussion on the words admire and inspire. They broke apart the meanings and came to some interesting conclusions.

Many years ago, Jim and I attended the children’s mass on Christmas Eve. If the excitement and enthusiasm from the children could have been harnessed, it would have produced enough energy to light the surrounding neighborhoods for the entire evening! A little boy in the pew in front of us bounced around like he was sitting on hot coals. He hiked himself up on his knees and spun around facing us, his little knuckles turning white as he gripped the back of the pew. When I asked him if Santa had come to his house, he answered through gritted teeth, “NOT YET!” Boy, was he excited!

When the little boy in church said, “not yet”, he believed that Santa would come, but he needed to wait a bit longer. Yet is simply time passing between the present moment to the anticipated. Yet; a small word that carries much strength. When grieving, give yourself permission to be in the yet. Honor the space, as Levin writes in the quote for today, and affirm where you are at the stages of grief. We have all experienced the feelings, but now follow it through like this:

I can’t do this…yet.

I cannot get through the anger...yet.

I don’t understand this…yet.

This doesn’t make sense…yet.

To complete what Buechner said, “...not only do they (words) have the power to make things clear, they make things happen.” By adding yet to your statements, you amplify the space making change a reality. Yet is simply a transition from grieving to a return to love. A flower, in all its splendor, begins humbly in dirt as a seed. However, its beauty is yet to be seen. But it will happen…in time.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” Mother Teresa

wednesday, April 2, 2025 Quote of the week

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.”

Desmond Tutu

At times when we least expect it, something magical materializes. It may not be to us directly but rather indirectly through others’ actions. Only if we are watching, only if we are observing, only if we are present, are we able to witness such exceptionality. “Seeing, observing, listening,” philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti states, “these are the greatest acts.”

On my way home from school, I was stopped at the traffic light. Being several cars back, I was only a few feet away from the sidewalk bordering the local storefronts. People were meandering in and out of several of the shops when I noticed an older couple leaving a hair salon.

The man was holding the door for whom I assume was his wife. She was delicately steering her walker out of the door as she tried to steady her step. The man steadied himself with his cane as he shuffled his way over to join her side. He stopped her and clumsily ambled to her other side, the side closest to the street. He made a gesture to her about the street being so close, and she smiled at him. I then met her eyes, and we smiled at one another. Even in his own feebleness, his intent was protecting her.

Confucius quoted that, “life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” What I witnessed was so incredibly simple yet was so astounding because it came from genuine love. It wasn’t dependent on gifts or reciprocity; he acted chivalrously and with decency. Congressman Raja Krishnamoorthi said, “when the norm is decency, other virtues can thrive: integrity, honesty, compassion, kindness, and trust.” That couple has no idea what they did for me. I can only pay it forward.

Even in our own feeble weakness during loss, we can show decency to others.

Storylight A transformational journey SHARON M WIBLE

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