“They’re in our hearts and on our minds and in the end all that separates us from them is a single breath, one final puff of air.”
William Kent Krueger
Ordinary Grace
Summer is still flirting but will soon take its final bow, and autumn will gently waft through nature’s threshold of change like a whisper. Chilly evenings carry woodsmoke from neighboring firepits, and leaves of yellow, orange, and red crunch beneath our feet. Even though there are a few more weeks before the explosion of the fall foliage, some leaves are already transforming from one season to another. My favorite time of year!
Walking Phoebe early one morning, I noticed the delicate balance of indecision each leaf ponders; when to hold on and when to let go. Chapter 3 in Ecclesiastes verse 1 teaches that, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…”, and as I watched a solitary leaf drift lazily to the ground below, I was reminded of the frailty of life.
Just one moment before it was released, the leaf clung to its branch. Just one moment before a doctor’s critical diagnosis, life was good. Just one moment before a baby takes her first breath, life teeters. Just one moment before the final good bye, each breath and the life we love so deeply is treasured. I wrote in my short story, “Reaching Through the Veil”, that death is only sad when you’re on the living side of it. Although we are left behind to endure the loss, I believe that all those we have lost transform just as water does when frozen or does a leaf because of the absence of light. They are simply in the next room, yet still a part of our lives.
When Jim died, friends encouraged me to talk to him, so I did. I wrote every morning to him in a journal as well as talking out loud to him. Sometimes the responses back would be a song played just at the right time, flickering lights, or a butterfly in the middle of a cold December day. On the one year anniversary of my mother-in-law's passing, I sat outside with her in my thoughts when a dove landed on my foot! It startled me, and it flew away, but I knew in my heart Mary was fluttering happily just in the other room.
All kinds of excuses can be made for the unexplainable, but I am choosing to see the miracles. I believe our loved ones never leave us; they just change form. And so will we when we exhale our one final puff of air.
I am choosing miracles over coincidence.
I am choosing love over loss.
I am choosing light over darkness.
I am choosing hope over despair.
I am choosing faith over fear.